Hi Laura~ i'm finding that it is across the ages and methinks it's a cultural thing. I was on a date last night and he was surprised that my definition of love did not include one partner "giving up their dreams" to follow another.
This to me is need~ not love~ need for both parties.
We must remember that 21st century life still puts a lot of expectations on men to be alpha and to "take care" of" "his woman". I too wanted to be cared for , tho my definition tends to be boxed to "that's friendship"~ yep~ me wants that friendship with my romance.
I am so not into double standards. If he is going to just want things one way that is "conditional" and I'm like ~ see ya later.
I will let a guy take the lead sometimes~ I will compromise~ but one of my boundaries is that he reciprocates.
I want him to know that I need him~ and will let him know how I define that need~ and I will respect how he defines his need of me~ if they don't align~ well maybe we can be just friends