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[Elle]

Just wondered what the general opinion is on weight issue and would like to get some male opinions that aren't from a magazine survey!

Is it more important to be confident about your body, even if you are overweight/underweight rather than the weight issue itself?

With all the airbrushing and 'superskinny' trend that gets thrust at us these days, it's hard not to have a few hang ups about bits that wobble where they shouldn't, especially after having kids. Even more so after the collapse of a long term relationship, it's a scary thought of starting the more intimate side of a relationship with someone new.

So, to all the guys..how important is the physical appearance, and is one part more important than another? Do men have insecurities about their bodies?

[Karmallama]

Personally I think that confidence in your body is the best assett you can have. Everybody has a weight that suits them and looks good and can allow them to lead a happy lifestyle... without having to starve yourself and never eat anything you actually like. If you can't have the nice things in life, but are as skinny as a supermodel are you REALLY going to be happy?

From experience, guys tend to go for women that look like they've spent a bit of time on themselves. For me, if a woman is well turned out and confident with her style, it does a lot more for her than restricting herself to four lettuce leaves per day. I do know that for a lot of guys (half of my mates included) if a girl has spent time doing her hair, make up and dressing nicely then she'll get their attention. I've seen women so ugly that even the tide wouldn't take them out, but because they were done up and looked like they believed they were gorgeous, the guys flock to them.

Don't worry about starting the new intimate relationship. You are what you are and if the person you're with doesn't love that, then they're with the wrong person.

[Mr.B]

To be honest, who cares about what other people think about your body or appearance. The only thing that matters is that your 100% happy and confident with your appearance/look/style or whatever. Then if someone else likes it, it's a win win... Please your own expectations of yourself and someone else will notice this... and like it as well. I hope that made some sense...

[Adam]

Just wondered what the general opinion is on weight issue and would like to get some male opinions that aren't from a magazine survey!

Is it more important to be confident about your body, even if you are overweight/underweight rather than the weight issue itself?

With all the airbrushing and 'superskinny' trend that gets thrust at us these days, it's hard not to have a few hang ups about bits that wobble where they shouldn't, especially after having kids. Even more so after the collapse of a long term relationship, it's a scary thought of starting the more intimate side of a relationship with someone new.

So, to all the guys..how important is the physical appearance, and is one part more important than another? Do men have insecurities about their bodies?

I personally prefer girls with some proper curves, but for them to have confidence in those curves is a big mental turn-on too. My previous two LTRs were with bigger girls & the first liked her body, carried herself very well & enjoyed her shape (as did I). The second, who was a size smaller, could not see she had a sexy body that went in & out where a girls body should. I found her lack of confidence such a downer; no matter what I said or did, she just couldn't see how desirable she was.

As for wobbly bits, so what?! A bigger bum is better to spoon with, boobs are supposed to wobble & tummies? Let's put it this way, who wants to hug a teddybear made of cardboard?

I'm 30, 5'8" & quite slim. I wouldn't say I was insecure about my body but there are things I'd change if I could (though some bits I do quite like). I'm grown-up enough to accept my body the way it is & I'm happy for my partner to see me as Mother Nature made me.

[Samson]

Hi there,

Personally, I do have a preference for size of my partner, but I dont really go for perfection. Anyone that loves who I am, what I do and how I think is perfect to me. However, at least that girl must look after themselves well. Properly-sized girls are always better looking then girls that went purposely to slim down, or not exercising regularly - you get what I mean? I do have turn-ons on slimmer girls, but I dont turn my eyes away from girls that are a little plump here and there.

In my POV, i think what really matters is how the individual carries themselves. For example, I wouldnt say I am fit, but I do say I am smart looking. Personally, I am 167cm / 77kg, which appears to be a little big-sized. Therefore, I chose clothes that consists of two layers of upperwears, for example, White shirt with Jeans, finished with Black Windbreaker (which is my favourite - it goes perfectly well on almost everything!). Spending a little time on picking your clothes do affect how you appear to others.

A girl full of confidence will always attract me more then a girl that is attractive, but have low self-esteem. A smile can make a person look so much more beautiful then sulking, right?

Have a great day ahead!
Samson

[James]

Confidence is important, but at the risk of people thinking I'm too shallow, I have to say that sometimes it's not based on reality.

If you weigh 300 pounds and are 4'11, male or female, odds are you aren't physically appealing to most people. I personally don't mind if someone is skinny or fat, but when I look for a possible mate, I tend to be more attracted to a healthy body type. Now 'healthy' doesn't mean a girl who weighs 90 pounds and eats a grape for supper. Indeed women (in my mind) should have nice curves and be soft to the touch. I find many women of many shapes and sizes to be attractive, but all the confidence in the world isn't going to make someone look better, although it does make them more attractive as a person.

I think everyone has insecurities, and not having been pregnant, I've always been able to overcome these insecurities through diet and exercise. In short the answer is yes it matters to a point.

[Bex]

people have to realise that if your genetics say your going to have curvs then your going to have them no matter what!!!!there is no point on going on extreme diets to try and get rid of them,
to be entirly happy with your body you have to have goals for it weither its to gain some weight get more toned loose a pound or too you have to have goals which are acheiveable in order to get that sence of satisfaction......

everybody has different personal prefrences in body types. its all in the persons self confidence and how they present themselves

[Linzzz]

Good question. I have been overweight my entire life, when I was born, I weighed 11 pounds! And it still is on going struggle. I'm not obese by any means, and I have been healthy my entire life. But the fat thing has always hindered me in relationships, and has made me quite shy due to being teased and all that.

But from my experience, I feel that men DO care about weight. I am twenty-two, never been on a "real" date. And I have only had one serious relationship. There has been so many times when I have gone out with my much thinner girlfriends and they get the drinks bought for them at bars, and not me. There has been many times where they have been approached by men, and I have been completely ignored. It hurts. And then it gets to the point where it's like "Why bother?" Out of fear of rejection, and then you end up settling for whatever man approaches you.


It's weird, but I don't have poor self esteem. I know that I smart, pretty, and hilarious. But dating is considerably harder for fat girls, we REALLY have to emphasize personality. Which it gets pretty tiring.

I know personality makes up for most of the attraction, but there needs to be some level of physical attraction as well.

[Kristofer]

I generally don't care if the girl has a belly, but overweight, is sadly not my cub of tea. I hate to burst your bubbles, but it does matter. Girls can however be very cute, good looking even if they appear to be fat. And if they have the confidence to smile and be happy and cheerful, those women get more men than any thin girl could dream of. But my personal opinion on the matter, I prefer them thinner.

[Lynn]

Good question. I have been overweight my entire life, when I was born, I weighed 11 pounds! And it still is on going struggle. I'm not obese by any means, and I have been healthy my entire life. But the fat thing has always hindered me in relationships, and has made me quite shy due to being teased and all that.

But from my experience, I feel that men DO care about weight. I am twenty-two, never been on a "real" date. And I have only had one serious relationship. There has been so many times when I have gone out with my much thinner girlfriends and they get the drinks bought for them at bars, and not me. There has been many times where they have been approached by men, and I have been completely ignored. It hurts. And then it gets to the point where it's like "Why bother?" Out of fear of rejection, and then you end up settling for whatever man approaches you.


It's weird, but I don't have poor self esteem. I know that I smart, pretty, and hilarious. But dating is considerably harder for fat girls, we REALLY have to emphasize personality. Which it gets pretty tiring.

I know personality makes up for most of the attraction, but there needs to be some level of physical attraction as well.

I am happy to say I am fat and I don't have a problem meeting men. Actually most of my thin friends tease me about how busy my social calendar is.

Everybody has their own preference but once again we need to believe in ourselves. On both sides of the coin... being fat... or being thin.... if you don't accept urself for who you are, how can you possibly expect another to accept you? So give urself a chance.... put on that smile.... display some confidence and you will see how life can change drastically.

So whoever you are... just know you can't please everybody... but you would be surprised who you can impress with the right attitude!!

Lynn