FreeHookup Dating Community

[Mumof1]

Hi guys
I have come across it now and again, how do you feel about this? Personally it puts me off if a guy talks about his ex at the first date. Plus it seems that a lot of guys only seem to be able to move on from a relationship by getting involved with somebody new? (no offense meant, I realise not all men are like that) If I meet a guy, how do I know he's over his ex?

[Dave]

Try sussing out if a guy is genuine and honest first and then maybe ask the ex questions to see how he reacts,if they are still friends then that should be ok,if he goes on about her alot then that's not a good sign but if doesn't want to really talk about her but you instead then thats a good sign.

[Dave]

P.S. Mumof1,that is an awesome new pic,you'll surely be struggling to keep up with your inbox lol

[Ellie]

Easy, I know I don't mention my "X" at all for several conversations/dates. The person should be focused on getting to know you. In the non virtual world if you don't already know someone's m/s/d/nbm status, an X question might come up sooner.

I found the earlier your potential date starts talking aboout their X (some right in their profile, whoa!) the more likely they are VERY angry still at the X , and or still emotionally attached - positively or negatively.

One "X"comment in a night, information, two "X" comments, beware, three or more, s/he is still ruminating about what went wrong.

Good luck out there. Being an "X" is hard, we all expected to be together long term, but s/he should have gotten over that part of being "we" with someone else and comfortable with being an individual before dating.

If your radar is activated trust it girl.

Good luck and most of all have fun out there!

[Justin Petrick]

Hi guys
I have come across it now and again, how do you feel about this? Personally it puts me off if a guy talks about his ex at the first date. Plus it seems that a lot of guys only seem to be able to move on from a relationship by getting involved with somebody new? (no offense meant, I realise not all men are like that) If I meet a guy, how do I know he's over his ex?

I suppose it is different for everyone Mummy. It's pretty hard to know if someone is past it or not because they could keep all the emotions internal. However, obviously what you don't want is for him to keep referencing her. That means he is not over her.

I don't bring up my ex on the first date unless she asks about her, then I will tell her what she wants to know and that is all. If he brings her up out of nowhere, or keeps prolonging the conversation about here, there is a desire to talk about her and I would consider it a red flag.

I don't think you will figure this out on the first date. It might take some time for the signs to come out.

Peace.

[Louie]

I agree with Ellie. The more important an X is to your date, the more they will talk about their X; regardless if it is positive or negative or anywhere in between. If your date's X is that important to them still, then one would have to wonder if they are really ready to move on or what the deal is.

[Mumof1]

Thanks Dave for the compliment, now should i mention that pic was taken like years ago?
Appreciate feedback from you guys and out of experience I agree that the more X talk there
is generally, the quicker I should get out of there!! But of course everybody is on their best
behaviour to start off with so sometimes it does take time to figure it out.... ahhhh the dating
game... gotta kiss a few frogs to find the "prince" lol!

[ZeroZero]

suppose it is different for everyone Mummy. It's pretty hard to know if someone is past it or not because they could keep all the emotions internal. However, obviously what you don't want is for him to keep referencing her. That means he is not over her.

I don't bring up my ex on the first date unless she asks about her, then I will tell her what she wants to know and that is all. If he brings her up out of nowhere, or keeps prolonging the conversation about here, there is a desire to talk about her and I would consider it a red flag.

i'm with Justin on this. one more thing, remember we are passing some of our feelings from our Xes to next person. just give him a chance to get over it.

[The Other Ian]

I think a lot depends on the age of the people. For instance im 48 been seperated 3 years and never really dated since the break up. I do go out and I flirt with people all the time but im all talk for the most part LOL
Back on topic though when you get a bit older your going to expect any new partner to have some history indeed Id be more surprised if they didnt have some hidden skeletons. I wouldnt expect to be talking about my ex or any dates ex on the first night but if it came up in conversation Id live with that then try and move on. There are probably as many people who dont want to talk about there ex as there are who do and that might be more worrying to me as Id think if they are uncomfortable telling me something like that what else are they hiding?

[Glenn]

Ex? Don't broach the subject and I certainly won't. If you haven't got better things to talk about, you're not over them.