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[JohnW]

Then what is it that make YOU---JohnW--- different from my ex? Is it unresolved feeling (even tho' he married as an entire life w/someone else) but during his early marriage and even after his first child he wanted to talk to me (but I didn't know that tell my mom's deathbed confession 20 yrs later) but I heard thru the "grapevine" their marriage was on the rocks at that point, but had no idea he had tried to contact me. They apparently worked it out and are still married, presumably happily. I dunno that for sure. He said very insulting things to me causing me to realize he couldn't be friends then when I spoke to him even years after we split. Yet you were able to do it. What make you different, can you explain? Impromtu thearpy, I guess..

That's a tough one to answer since I don't know him but I think you're on to something with unresolved feelings, I hope you don't mind me saying but him insulting you tells me he's kind of an ass, no matter how hurt or angry I am I won't insult someone who is close to me on purpose so that may be one way I'm different, usually I don't like to dwell on things for too long either, there's just no point doing that cuz it only make you feel bad and since you can't do anything about how someone feels about you anyway there's no point dwelling in my opinion so I try not to.

[Mike Martinez]

Hate to sound bitter or cynical... and again, w/ kids you have to make it work. But just because there hasn't been a trainwreck yet doesn't make it a good idea. This is one of those lessons that we tend to have to learn on our own. But just remember, you heard it here first. If it were me, on to the next one.