FreeHookup Dating Community

[Glenn]

hey guys! boredom is gettin to me so i decided to post a new topic...about staying friends with an ex. do you think its possible? are thier limitations on this friendship? do they last? do they get back together? or is it just prolonging the "healing process" of ending one relationship before begianing another?

for a select few it works, not for me. Time to move on. Funny though, still have had sex with the exs. when IM not seeing anyone.

That doesn't make sense? If you have moved on, how exactly do you explain stepping back in between?

[Newfielove]

I can tell you that currently it isn't working for me.
Wonderful guy, not ready to go into a more serious phase of the relationship. He broke it off. He knew I wanted more. But because my feelings were deeper and I had opened up a lot, the wound is very deep. He wants what I cannot offer. It's best to cut off all communication - seriously. It's the only way to truly heal and move on, and prepare yourself to be a better person for the right guy. Having ties to the past will only hinder any future relationships. Blessings.

[good4u]

I vote w/Newfie---it is not wise to contine contact w/an ex.

When feelings run very deep for either party, it just can't be done. I've never been able to keep contact w/ex's. That's what ex mean...the past....leave it there. It is for your own good.

[mike.d.martinez]

Amen and agreed. That's a dead horse.

[Eric]

Except.....what about if kids are involved??

For me, I was put flat on my backside from how my ex handled the seperation, and in other circimstances I'd probably cut most contact...but we have 2 kids, and she is a good mother.

So, despite the fact she hated me, I've put a lot of effort into rebuilding the relationship to be at lease civil....

[mike.d.martinez]

Kids change everything, obviously. Gotta keep it civil with the baby-mama-drama. And I don't mean step children, though that may vary on a case by case basis.

[JohnW]

If you can get along with your ex and your new partner don't mind I can't see why not.

[good4u]

If you can get along with your ex and your new partner don't mind I can't see why not.

It sounds really, really good in theory, but in practice it is messy. It really depends on what the feeling level is. For instance, if the guy is really, really into you and you not so much and the relationship ends. Don't go into a "let's just be friends" mode it can't be done. It's wrong to even suggest it and it is truly insulting to your partner feelings for you. I never realized this until I was much older and I tried this "let's try to be friends someday" and it didn't work---even after he married, he couldn't do it. So don't torture a person by making the "friends" pitch when ending a relationship. It just is not fair.

[good4u]

Eric,

Having children w/a partner is a game-changer. That should be a given. It is imperative you try and keep hostile feelings for ur ex away from hurting your children. Working thru those painful feelings about your ex marital partner is something you will have to do separately apart from the children. A marriage w/children is a much more complex relationship than simply a couple w/o children.

[JohnW]

If you can get along with your ex and your new partner don't mind I can't see why not.

It sounds really, really good in theory, but in practice it is messy. It really depends on what the feeling level is. For instance, if the guy is really, really into you and you not so much and the relationship ends. Don't go into a "let's just be friends" mode it can't be done. It's wrong to even suggest it and it is truly insulting to your partner feelings for you. I never realized this until I was much older and I tried this "let's try to be friends someday" and it didn't work---even after he married, he couldn't do it. So don't torture a person by making the "friends" pitch when ending a relationship. It just is not fair.

Well, I did mean if it's ok for everyone involved, of course you can't do it if there's too much feelings involved, it's quite obvious to me so I didn't think of writing it down to be honest!