FreeHookup Dating Community

[LA]

Ok guys help me out....How do you know when a man is "just not that into u"?.......and when they say "i want to take it slow" and "i am not ready for a perminant relationship yet" becuse his last relationships where bad....one day I am the only one and then I dont hear from him for days.....we are both open/honest and talk to each other about seeing others......he says he is crazy about me more than anyone????am I wasting my time?

[Alex]

This may depend on how mad you are about him.. And on how experienced u r in relationships.

If u r both under 20 I would take things easy, don't get hung up, and maybe say other lads maybe able 2 pay u more attention. If ur both over 21 then maybe he should be more mature by thinking about how he comes across to you.

If u r an attractive girl any lad should be privileged 2 b with u
Alex xx

[Karmallama]

Has the guy been hurt in the past? Just come out of a rough relationship? Maybe he just isn't totally confident?

If he's not interested, he won't hold conversations much, won't be interested in sex, won't want to spend time with you.

[LA]

thanks for the feedback.....oh w are both past the age of 21 and 31 and looking towards the 40's......i am divorsed and he is too......confdence is not his problem.....maybe its more of mine....becuse i know how women through themselves at him....we live far apart, but he does make time daily to call, but then wl go for 4 days and nothing, we have met, chemistsry is not th problem.....i just dont want to waste my time with him....he tells me he doesnt want to lose me , but at same time pushes me away...uggggg!

[Geraldine]

You know its such a difficult question, I find myself asking the same all the time. How do you know when a man is into you?

Some men follow the "dating rules", others just wing it, others say one thing but mean another thing. I think you should follow you gut feel. Woman's intuition never lies.

ps I am really good at giving this advice but never good at doing the same.....

[Karmallama]

I have to admit, I'm a bit hot and cold at times. I'll be all conversational and focussed one week and spending a lot of time with them, then the next I'm happier just being on my own and doing my own thing. It doesn't mean I'm not into the girl I'm with, but I don't suppose it gives off great vibes to her either.

Personally, I just like time on my own and a bit of space to myself. Maybe that's the case with your bloke?

The alarm bells for me would be ringing if this guys far away and following that same pattern though. Because I've done long distance... really long... and ANY time we got together when we were close was priceless. The phone calls were just standard issue.

Out of curiousity, by 'live far apart' do you mean different country? Opposite ends of the same country? Or just different cities/town?

[Kees]

Check out the chemistry... if the sparks are there... you are ok. If there is no ignition... forget it.

[LA]

i really appriciate the feedback......the chemistry is diffinately there, as for the distance we are both in usa.....but opposite ends ......but every month since we met we have made plans to come see each other .......i did the cross the world thing before to and dont recomend it......just to keep you posted, he was living with a woman and moved out after we met, he still works with her ,.....i guess i need to lighten up and learn to trust again and have so faith in myself......after all i will not chase a man that doesnt want me....., as for the other women that litterally throw them selves at him.....he is always honest.....sometimes tooo honest.....but trusting is hard for me so i guess its not only him but me to that needs time........thanks again for all the feedback.

[Karmallama]

If he's got women throwing themselves at him and he's not interested... ask if he can re-direct them my way instead then?

Cheers!

[LA]

ok.....now i am jsut getting mad....this week his "friend" come to visit him from acroos the world......and i mea a foreign country......he dries 7 hours to get her from the airport.....tells me everything about this,(but lets face it who comes on 18 hour flight to see a man for only one week and doesnt have intament relations?) ....tells me on 3rd day of her visit that he loves me and always mises me......but yesterday tells me....but not the way i think.....tells me he still not ready for commited relationship......i feel he is stringing me along........i am too crazy about him, but at same time if any other man did this i would kick him t the curb......i cant hel feeling this is the man i am suppose to be with.....but this is killing me......ami crazy or what?????