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"just not that into u"?.......

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Re: "just not that into u"?.......

Postby LA 122 days, 21 hours ago

Thanks so much...your coments have ment alot to me.....you are right...............I am definatley too nice, sweet, and hell i will say it.....beutiful..... to sit around and waist my time on someone that can not see what a great thing he had lost.......when i think about it, there has never been a man that hasnt begged me to come back to them after things ended.....i have traveled down a long and lonely road , but i have always made it out of every test in life with blessings......and even though this hurt, i have truely found with every test in life, a blessing soon follows.....i have talked to my "Friend" a few times and now i see, I would have never been happy wth this man.....i would have thrown away my needs and desires to accomidate his......I wont settle for anyone ...........i desever better. thanks again for helping me see that......sometimes we all need to be reminded that our needs andwants are just as important as the next.....take care.....the moral to this story: if he is just not that into you......maybe he doesnt deserve u in the first plac!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LA
 
Posts: 10
Joined: 136 days, 11 hours ago
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Re: "just not that into u"?.......

Postby Kees 122 days, 17 hours ago

Heya LA, you have learned yet another lesson in life. You fall, you get up and you are a stronger person than before. Keep in mind what you have learned and use it next time around.

Kees
 
Posts: 214
Joined: 153 days, 15 hours ago
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Re: "just not that into u"?.......

Postby VENU 122 days, 14 hours ago

LA wrote:Thanks so much...your coments have ment alot to me.....you are right...............I am definatley too nice, sweet, and hell i will say it.....beutiful..... to sit around and waist my time on someone that can not see what a great thing he had lost.......when i think about it, there has never been a man that hasnt begged me to come back to them after things ended.....i have traveled down a long and lonely road , but i have always made it out of every test in life with blessings......and even though this hurt, i have truely found with every test in life, a blessing soon follows.....i have talked to my "Friend" a few times and now i see, I would have never been happy wth this man.....i would have thrown away my needs and desires to accomidate his......I wont settle for anyone ...........i desever better. thanks again for helping me see that......sometimes we all need to be reminded that our needs andwants are just as important as the next.....take care.....the moral to this story: if he is just not that into you......maybe he doesnt deserve u in the first plac!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VENU
 
Posts: 2
Joined: 127 days, 15 hours ago
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Re: "just not that into u"?.......

Postby Kees 122 days, 8 hours ago

So LA, how are you coping? At times like these you learn who your friends really are and you should value them, their presence and their affection towards you. Catch a movie, go dancing, just don't be alone...

Kees
 
Posts: 214
Joined: 153 days, 15 hours ago
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Re: "just not that into u"?.......

Postby Char 117 days, 17 hours ago

I have to say, if any of the guys I was dating was putting the pressure on me for a committed relationship I would be like ~ see you later (just to clarify~ I have not been dating any of these men over a long period~ I'd estimate at least two months of dating, with or without sex, before I took his suggestion seriously).

What do YOU want?

You want exclusivity and he is not committing yet, ok, he has not met the criteria. This does not mean you are not the fantastic succulent woman you are~ he is just not "the one" or "the one at this point in time"~ maybe.

Be sure you know where you stand with him~ and only an open conversation will achieve this. If he doesn't want to have it, you have your answer, doesn't mean he doesn't care, just not in the way you want him to. And...it's his journey, you have yours full of treasures and adventure too :-)

Char
 
Posts: 69
Joined: 117 days, 18 hours ago
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Re: "just not that into u"?.......

Postby Susan 117 days, 9 hours ago

Honestly, I have been in your predicament many times. If he wanted to be with you , really be with only you he would! Nothing would get in his way of being with you, calling you and seeing you. I know it is not what you want to hear, it hurts alot, I know, though you must move on! You look like a pretty girl, have confindence and don't waste your life waiting for someone who has excuses...

Susan
 
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Joined: 117 days, 9 hours ago
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Re: "just not that into u"?.......

Postby CdaFaith1957 114 days, 19 hours ago

I can SOooo relate to and understand your situation. I'm thankful for the guy on here who helped you through this as you vented your feelings. I agree 100% with what he told you!

What I'm about to say, you can toss it aside if you choose to, but it's the truth , and I care enough to tell you the truth. It seems we all want to find that "one" person we can share life with, who will look past our faults and love us anyway, will always be there for us, never leave us in spite of what comes in life, someone with whom we can return that same commitment of love to them. But we all have faults and can never completely fill that "spot" we all have. Jesus is the only one who can fill that deep need. I know through years of searching, tears, mistakes, etc. that we will only be disappointed as long as we look for imperfect humans to meet those deep-seated needs. HE wants to be "the ONE" to fill that need in our lives, and once we look to HIM to fill that need, we are satisfied.....and are standing on a solid foundation, and THEN are free to look for a mate to spend our life with and build on that foundation. See...then we stop looking for a mate to fill a need that only God can fill. BOTTOM LINE 1 of 2: HE is the ONLY ONE we "can count on" to always love us & be there through all of life's ups and downs. HE is the only ONE perfect.

I haven't found the man with whom I can share life with yet. But I do have someone (Jesus) that is walking with me through life as I search....and because I have HIM....I'll be ok.....anything more I find is just icing on the cake! Lately I've been saying..."Lord, I want and love icing!" lol ! But HE tells me to be patient and HE'll bring it to pass ....in HIS timing and way. (smile)

BOTTOM LINE 2 of 2: You deserve to have a man cherish you, as you cherish him. You should not "settle for" less. There ARE men out there who will see and appreciate all you have to give. But as that guy told you.....cut off ALL (yes, ALL) communication with this other guy! It's only pulling and holding you back from finding the RIGHT one. Don't fall for the "we'll just be friends" line. It will only keep you strung along and weight down your boat so you can't sail freely. Wish him the best, then cast him totally out of your life and sail freely to the one man who is waiting to appreciate you and love you!

Just my 2 cents. (smile)

CdaFaith1957
 
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Joined: 115 days, 2 hours ago
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Re: "just not that into u"?.......

Postby Anna 109 days, 5 hours ago

Ya im little confused myself, im in a relationship with a guy who is contantly flirting online, says he wasnt ready for a relationship, it just happened and i dont know what that means. I have my own place and have been sick for awhile and he's been taking care of me and i is back and forth all over the place on me going back to my apartment, he say he has his own shit to deal with, and need some space sometimes and then spends his free time online flirting. Help im confused.

Anna
 
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Joined: 109 days, 5 hours ago
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Re: "just not that into u"?.......

Postby bobby 108 days, 20 hours ago

Anna wrote:Ya im little confused myself, im in a relationship with a guy who is contantly flirting online, says he wasnt ready for a relationship, it just happened and i dont know what that means. I have my own place and have been sick for awhile and he's been taking care of me and i is back and forth all over the place on me going back to my apartment, he say he has his own shit to deal with, and need some space sometimes and then spends his free time online flirting. Help im confused.

well i thinks guys r a bit different. when in problem they tend to go in their thinking caves instead of discussions like in case of girls. that's why they sometimes needs space! :lol:

bobby
 
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Re: "just not that into u"?.......

Postby Karmallama 108 days, 17 hours ago

Anna wrote:he's been taking care of me and i is back and forth all over the place on me going back to my apartment, he say he has his own shit to deal with, and need some space sometimes and then spends his free time online flirting. Help im confused.


To be honest, I kind of understand where he's coming from to a certain degree... I love spending time on my own doing nothing productive. The flirting with girls online can be a bit dodgy, but for the most part is probably harmless. Just so long he keeps it online. But if he's spending a lot of time doing things for other people and helping you out, after a short time he's going to start thinking that he needs some time to just sit and relax and not have to stick to any commitments. At least, thats the way I go sometimes... I get a lot of people asking me to do stuff for them, just fitting doors, helping to move heavy stuff, painting things, generally helping out with time consuming things, nothing too taxing, but sometimes I just need to sit and have some time for myself. So I sit and use the internet, not so much for flirting with girls, but going on messageboards and buying things... which is nice, but not advisable. I ended up with a few pairs of jeans, half a dozen t-shirts and a new TV last time I had a bit of time to myself; so if your guy isn't spending money he doesn't really have, you're not doing too badly :)


Hope you get well soon!

Karmallama
 
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Joined: 137 days ago
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