FreeHookup Dating Community

[Geraldine]

I am sorry girl! but I think if I was in your shoes, I would tell him that you want a commitment from him or you are moving on. You don't need to feel like this at all. You are feeling scared and vulnerable. Hey he will either run for the hills or commit.

Either way you will feel better, there are no guessing games involved. Good luck xxx

[Karmallama]

I used to fly 7hrs to see a girl whenever I could. I ended up marrying her (and then later on, divorcing her). My mates live 30 minutes down the road, but I doubt any of them would travel 18hrs to come and see me for a week.

If this guys getting chicks to fly 18hrs to see him for a week, there's something else on the table. Where's she staying? How long has he known her? Where does he know her from? He's dicking you around and you need to be rid of him as soon as possible. He's being honest and telling you about interest from other women to try and A) ease his conscience so he isn't lying outright and won't get caught out when he mentions the women and B) to make you think "Well he's telling me about these women, so he isn't trying to hide anything" so that you're a little more complacent and give him a little slack.

[LA]

Thanks again for replys ....it just helps mebeing able to vent.....i did lay everything out on table.....lat week before this "friend" came here......heres the thing..........he tells me plane and simple that he loves me but not in the way i want.....but that he doesnt want to lose me.........with knowing his background i unserstand his commitment issues......i think u are right n that he is so honest that he uses it as a crutch and can say ....i told u i am not ready yet......been then call me and talk6 hours on phone and tell me how speicial i am......i guess the decsion it now do i 1) realize it will go no furher than it now.....and just have fun and continue this relationship or 2) wake up and just cut it all off before i allow my self to be really hurt bad.....i have never felt this way before....any other man i would have kick to the curb.....As for the "friend" well its suppose to be his friends "wife to be" and she came here for a vacation.....but he has goneout of is way to tell me how young and beutiful she is .......she suppose to be staying in hotel but i dont buy it at all...esp since he quit calling suddently , writting, texting....nothing and has his cell turned off nd his messenger on invisable........when i approched the subject he seems to like i am jealous and then use it against me...telling me he thought i was differnent than the other and special butnow i am acting like other jealous women........but i guess the old saying goes "a person with nothing to hide ....hides nothing......and he is hiding things.....so i havent called or text or messaged him......matter of fact i went out last night and had a blast......there are several other men i know extrememly interested in me....but since day one when i me HIM i am not interested in anyone.....i guess maybe i am setting myself up for heart ache......after all i know how i feel for him and i would never do this to him what he doing to me.....but tell me ....who flies from middle east and stay here a week for a vacation......i mean the visa alone is impossible to get?????right? so the ball is in his court.......i will not make the next move.........(but i cant say it doesnt hurt cuz it really does)......i really thought this was the "one"

[Karmallama]

I can imagine how much it hurts, but it doesn't seem that he has any intention of changing now or in the future. Looks like you're going to be stuck caring for him more than he does for you and there's nothing worse than loving and not being loved.

The best thing you could do now is try to get him out of your mind because he won't be calling or contacting you much, if at all while this other woman is on the scene. She'll return to her country and he'll be mr 'I love you' again.

Its not going to be easy, and I hope you manage to get yourself through it without taking him back, but for your own good you need to be free of him because he's playing games and it's not going to do you any good mentally or physically.

I'd say cut all ties with him and see what else is out there. Other guys might be as attractive and funny and whatever other qualities you look for in a guy, but the chances are that they'll be more willing to return the feelings you give them, and THATS whats going to make you much happier than the crap you're being put through now. This goon that's messing you around will leave you alone and scarred and unable to trust anyone because of the way he treats you.

[LA]

thanks again for the feed back,,,,,and your right, i knew this already but needed to hear it from someone else......i will keep you posted............it hurts , it really does, and i am angry with myself for getting this hung up on someone so fast............its not like i am young and stupid.......anyway another friend has asked me to come to chicago to see him in few weeks, i think i will go.....what the hell,,,,only live once right?

[LA]

Well this is a follow up, on my original question about 2 weeks ago............You know you would think that after al these years I would have learned to trust that "inner voice".......Well Last night the man that I have been crazy about finally admitted ...the girl that came to see him from around the world...well that he is in love with her and they will marry......I was totaly crushed.....yes he has been telling me from the beginning he wasnt ready for a ralationship, well what he really ment was he wasnt ready for a realtionship with me......I cried my eyes out.....and of course went throught the usual.....is it me? am i not pretty enough? am i not young enough? ....or not thin enough? ..I mean if i hear someone tell me another time in my life .....its not u!!!! yea? right? ..........so here is another delimah.....this guy who just crushed my heart.....not to mention had been lying to me about all this (supposadly becuz i mad it so hard for hm to tell the truth becuz of me being insanely jealous......i dont know.,..so now after 2days of tears my freind is telling me he doesnt want to lose me ,,,,,tht my friendship matters that much to him,,,,,,,and i gueess i am more insane than him becuz i am actually readdy to be his freind and put aside what i was feeling for him in order to help him prepare to marry her........Am I toldly wacco? or am i being the better person by standing by him and learning to love and care for him in a friendship way instead of a lovers way......and last but not least....am i the only one that feels i will never meet anyone that is prepared to love me >>>>Maybe i am a dreammer.....but dont i deserve to be loved just as much as this girl??? I truely am to the point in my life where i dont think i will ever meet someone ......If i am such a great...how come i am always the one alone??

[Karmallama]

SCREW THE GUY. Screw him and his newly announced fiance - I pity that poor sod too. The guy is a prick and the fact that he wants you to just be his 'friend' means that he wants you around so he knows you haven't found someone else, and when you do, he'll f*ck with your head all over again.

If you help him prepare for the wedding that'll rip your heart out, do you think he'll tell HER about your help? About your feelings for him? Do you think he'll acknowledge that you had anything to do with it? Do you think you can take watching him walk down the aisle with another woman?

I say make a clean break. Block his emails, block his calls, screen any letters he sends and get rid of his contact details. Cut the f*cker out of your life so you can move on and concentrate on making yourself happy with someone who deserves your attention and feels the same for you as you do for them. If it hurts him that you do it and he gets a little sad, then my only regret is that it won't hurt him as much as he deserves.

You will find someone if you keep looking, but the longer you waste on this SOB, the longer it'll take for you to find happiness. Cut ties, move on, be happy.

[Kees]

Sorry to hear that LA... So... get back on your feet and keep on smiling. Mr Right is out there for you.

[LA]

As always thanks for the replys.....I will say I am a little surprised to recieve such strong replys from a man......I have never really had anyone take up for me.......I am used to haveing to take up for myself....I also must say I hope I have not misrepresented my friend......From day one he has always told me about not wanting a ralationship (romantic) with me and i guess somehow I was hoping his actions were saying something different than his mouth......I am torn.......I think in part u are right, but at same time, I know this man (or i thought i did), and I know he was avoiding hurting me but not telling me.....although in the end it hurt me more.......i FEEL SO STUPID... no he will not tell this girl about me, I dont know becuse he was ashamed of me or he knows mabe she would leave if she knew.......and i discouraged him in doing so......I am so angry with myself.....i am not a young enexperienced girl......I should have know better coming off of divorsing my x of 17 years........I know everything happens for a reason, but it doesnt make it any eiser......Why am i so willing to still be his friend, when it hurts so bad????? I know i will move on, but I am not sure if I have the stregth to open up again down the road?????

[Karmallama]

I just don't like to see people mistreated. Especially not when they seem to be a good person.

I reckon you'd be surprised at how strong and how resiliant you can be if you got this guy out of your life.