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[Cathy]

I have an odd dilema and some good advice would be appreciated. I'm shy. An yet I want to live life. Ok. What I mean is I want to go hiking, dancing, snorkeling, did I mention dancing. My dilema... men don't want this...they want the sack. Why? Does anyone just want to enjoy living anymore?

An how do I start doing that without doing it alone. I'm tired of going on adventures by myself. Not that I have lately. Its been a long time. Just recently single. But seperated for two years. Anyhow...have any suggestions?

[Mike]

So do you just want a friend, to do these kinda thing with?

There are plenty of blokes out there who love those sort of things ... not all men just want the 'sack'. Maybe you're looking in the wrong places, or sending out the wrong message *shrug*.

[Jeremy]

Being pationate about something is ALWAYS a plus.

All i can say is that the men youve known are insecure assholes. They sound like the kinda guy who is doesent want their lady to be too independant, in other words no brains and no will of their own. And only life to serve their man. That is wrong.

I understand you are shy... i used to also be shy. But if you dont try to break out of the shyness, you will end up regretting alot of things as you get alot older. You will be one of those aparment Cats who sits at the window watching the world go by.

If you want to do something... THEN DO IT!!!! You dont need to tag another person along to your hobbies. Did it ever occur to you that maybe a handsome guy who is single just might be at a dance class? Isnt that the kinda guy you would want? Someone who has the same interests as you?

Take control over your life and live it! Dont do it becayse you need someone, do the it for YOU. If you arent satisfied with your life... then who would want to be with you? When you are at ease and enjoying your life to what you can control over... that is attractive. Being sad and being unsatisfied with this and that is never an attractive thing. Think of it from a womans point of view... would you find a guy who was so sad and depressed about his life... attractive? Or would a selfsecure and happy guy, whos eyes gave you that feeling of being in love with life and had a passion for things more attractive?

When you master your life... only then will you be ready to move onwards, to share your life with someone else.

- Jay

[Cathy]

Thanks Jay, I needed that. In fact I'm about to jump into something TODAY! that I've been avoiding for awhile A whole new way of life is about to take place. I hope I don't crash an burn this time. Guess you never do totally... you can't live and NOT get something GOOD out of it. I know that. I kinda dropped out of life for awhile. In a big way. No offense, but men terrify me now. I don't want the path I had before. I don't know about other woman but I have been sexually harrassed all my life. I pray for the stupid bloat to put it kindly, who walks up to me and says or does anything that's not respectful. It turns my stomach now. When I was young and dumb I didn't know how to react to that crude nasty being. An trust me there are many, many out there.

If I like you I'll smile, laugh, joke. I do that naturally that's a part of me. I can't seem to do that though with out giving the wrong impression. An my jokes are silly. By no means sexual. I save those for the one I am serious about. I can't help but wonder though if I am giving off something that I don't realize. So much so that it makes me leary to be around men who I don't know completely.

There is something about me that makes these men think they can say anything to me an I want to know what the hell it is.

Oh, an no I'm not easy. I was in the military awhile 8yrs. Surrounded then. An no, not all are like that. Thank God.

But the ones who have the gule to walk up to ya at a convience store. I was in jeans and a t-shirt nothing tight. In fact I think I had a short jacket on. Anyhow. This one time among many...this guy and I felt him watching me. I was wishing I could crawl into the cooler door that I just opened to get a way from him. An as usual he wasn't going anywhere where I could slip by him. "Damn, what I could do with that ass?" Do men realize how that stuff should be saved for private. I wasn't complimented by any means. I felt dirty for the way he was looking at me. An he said it twice. Not once. Now maybe someone else would have a quick response to something like that. An I wish I could have. Other than, " I'm married you need to look someplace else and leave me alone." I did say that but it doesn't change the fact that I just wanted to disappear.

So do you have anymore suggestions on response. Or any idea what I might be doing to make men say shit to me like that? I'm listening.

[shay]

If you're not dressing provocatively, then you're doing nothing wrong. Some men are just pigs that can't control themselves. Unfortunately, the timid people have to suffer with dealing with the fact that they've just been disrespected. Me on the other hand, am a loud mouth bitch. If a man commented as to "what he could do with that ass" I'd tell him he can take a picture of it and jerk off because that's as close as he'd get to the real thing. But hey, that's just me.

[Mike]

I'd tell him he can take a picture of it and jerk off

done.

but srsly, some woman are pigs too, they just want sex :@

[Akusu]

I have an odd dilema and some good advice would be appreciated. I'm shy. An yet I want to live life. Ok. What I mean is I want to go hiking, dancing, snorkeling, did I mention dancing. My dilema... men don't want this...they want the sack. Why? Does anyone just want to enjoy living anymore?

An how do I start doing that without doing it alone. I'm tired of going on adventures by myself. Not that I have lately. Its been a long time. Just recently single. But seperated for two years. Anyhow...have any suggestions?

you just have not found the right or ideal person for you to be with.