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Do guys talk about thier past history,if not why.

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Re: Do guys talk about thier past history,if not why.

Postby Damien 19 days, 1 hour ago

We have the right to remain silent. Anything we say can and sometimes WILL be used against us! Although if you give us some time to build trust and feel comfortable we'll eventually share things with you!

Damien
 
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Re: Do guys talk about thier past history,if not why.

Postby Omid 17 days, 2 hours ago

JESSY. wrote:I think guys should be able to talk about the past infact anyone should
its clearly in the past for a reason...except i believe some people dont change so i guess depending on what ur past was.....it may put a person off!


i can forgive anything and i usually do. your point is a good one though.

Omid
 
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Re: Do guys talk about thier past history,if not why.

Postby sweety 14 days ago

Yes, I Belive that they hold on there past alot. I,have known a man for 9 years him and his buddie where living together for 2o years. I,met this man at a bowling alley so I,be came good freinds with him. Close enough that I,got tangled up in this relationship with this other guy and me. Now he always talks about his pass about this guy
who he lived with and hes in a nurseing ###l the time and his pass girl freinds to me all the time. Yes every one has a past but we do not hold on to it or live in it beacuse that is called bipolar. Move on with the future dam
i, wouls want hang on to the past.

sweety
 
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Re: Do guys talk about thier past history,if not why.

Postby Jeremy 13 days, 8 hours ago

I was marrid for 5 years, and shared my past with my wife.. dumbest thing I could have done.
It really depends on how the woman takes things, but when she never forgets about the italian waitress when I was 16, then I guess we can't say a damn thing.

It turns out that guys try to move on from their past, but women don't normally let them. Some are stuck in a world of regret, and want desperately to fix their mistakes, others just move on and seem held back by the low self esteem of their partners, and others are lucky enough to be in a relationship where they both made mistakes and love the flaws of the other.

ps: you women must admit that in arguements you bring up things from the past. So who's really living in it?

Jeremy
 
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Re: Do guys talk about thier past history,if not why.

Postby Optiron 13 days, 8 hours ago

Damien wrote:We have the right to remain silent. Anything we say can and sometimes WILL be used against us! Although if you give us some time to build trust and feel comfortable we'll eventually share things with you!


Amen brother. Here is how I see it.

Some things in everyone past is not always meant for immediate public consumption. Some things are just never meant to see the light of day period. Yes you want to know about a persons past experiences and life because in the long run those experiences are a part of the total sum that makes that person who they are today. But at the same time parts of those experiences are not only part of that persons life but part of another someones life as well and maybe just maybe their privacy should be respected as well.

Here are a few things I do not want to know about you and your past as an example.

1. How many penis' have you had stuck in what orifices on your body?

2. What is the biggest penis you have had stuck in any orifice on your body.

3. Have you ever participated in lifestyles involving small farm animals, large farm animals or high speed Black and Decker Belt Sanders?

4. Have you ever had a one night stand with a professional sports team or popular musical group.

5. Have you ever had a one night stand with a little league team or glee club.

6. Tell me what you liked about the best lover you ever had.

7. Tell me what you hated about the worst lover you ever had.

Ok so I am being silly but I hope I am making my point. Do not ask us for to many details because you might not like what you hear, and at the same time, we wont ask you for to many because the same may apply to us. Tell your potential partner about the experiences that helped shape who you are and if there is a deeper and darker tale to tell, save it till you know they are more prepared for it. If you have abuse or anything like that in your past, save it for later. Give the person a chance to get to know who you are now first before so they can better handle who you were. If you throw to much dark into the mix to fast, they wont really get to know you now because they will be looking at who you were.

Optiron
 
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Re: Do guys talk about thier past history,if not why.

Postby Nathaniel 10 days, 3 hours ago

We date too early and marry too late in life and are bitter with no one to blame but ourselves. The real question, is "What is your motive in knowing a man's past?" Is it fear of the unknown, looking for a better reason to dump him so you won't feel guilty, looking for collateral to use against him if he ever cheats on you, hoping to cash in on juicy gossip worthy details to dish out for your fellow girlfriends to giggle about and then they are suddenly quiet every time the guy enters the room? Or do you really just want to know him more so you can appreciate everything he has to offer? If the latter is true, then start by revealing your past first and accept the fact that his answer will be given in small pieces over time. A man's emotional capacity is well proven to be a fraction of a woman's emotional capacity, which is why women can so easily (with little effort) pretend to cry convincingly, answer the phone with a smile (while hiding anger successfully), be screaming mad with another woman at a mall and 30 seconds later, whole heartedly laughing at a joke told by her friend or verbally support her depressed boyfriend when she would secretly rather kill him. If a man tells you he was once great, is he a "burn out" now or is he "a man with potential who may rise again?" If a man tells you he was once a horrible person, do you fear he will be again or still is or do you admire his determination to overcome himself? I see people that have no faith in others and very little in themselves. Their goals are small and easily attainable so that they can't fail. They choose not to define their lives as having purpose, so that they are never disappointed, only bored with their surroundings. As if all of nature were responsible for their personal need for constant stimulation or entertainment. I literally heard a girl that I knew, say to me coldly without looking at me, "entertain me." She thought that I was infatuated with her and that she could walk on me. So I casually told her every rumor that anyone had ever said about her and asked her if any of them were true. She was surprised and speechless. I asked her, "Was that entertaining?" Life is best served tongue in cheek. The present is all you have and your past is not always a good indicator of your future. People change...daily. If you ask about his past to determine his future, do yourself a favor and just concentrate on getting to know who he is today and making an educated guess, because our future is not written in stone.

Nathaniel
 
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Re: Do guys talk about thier past history,if not why.

Postby Sharon 8 days, 15 hours ago

Me ex shared his past - and I beleived him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tioll we split when I found out he hadnt done 12 yasr in the Army, was never in the Paras, he was never on the ''at risk register'', he didnt pay maintenance regularly!!!!!!!!!!!!! etc etc so even if someone does share their past its only going to be what they want you to hear not necassarily the truth or the whole truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sharon
 
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Re: Do guys talk about thier past history,if not why.

Postby Ahmed 8 days, 14 hours ago

the past is the past, naturally we all need a little background check but cant go into to much details, i dont wanna know everything...i dont mind talking about serious relationships and even that might make the female abit insecure but the smaller stuff...it doesnt matter...theres a time and a place...and that was back then and now alot of people grow up with experiences they go through so what they might have been capable of doing in the past doesnt necessarily mean they will be able to do today, so dont fret 8-)

Ahmed
 
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