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Cyber Dating

Postby xoxSkitZxox on Tue Mar 31, 2009 12:39 pm

Ok Can a guy actualy fall in love with a girl he met only on line and not in person? I mean chatting online and on the phone can tell you alot about someone but is it really enough? This guy I been talking to says he is in love with me and wants me to marry him, but we have never met in person. I do have feelings for him, strong ones. But how do I tell if he is for real. I mean the guy asked me to marry him, then suddenly became unavailible to talk or even answer text. But when I do get ahold of him he tells me everything is good, nothing has changed and he still loves me. WTF?

xoxSkitZxox
 
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Re: Cyber Dating

Postby Karmallama on Tue Mar 31, 2009 12:55 pm

Hate to be the bastard to tell you, but he sounds dodgy as hell. I also wouldn't recommend agreeing to marry someone that you've never met. I mean, he might be TOTALLY different to what he's told you.

I don't doubt you can fall in love online for one minute, but there's no replacement for actually meeting someone before you say your vows. The fact that he isn't sounding like he's the man you think he is before you've even met is ringing a lot of alarm bells though.

How far is between you two?

Karmallama
 
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Re: Cyber Dating

Postby xoxSkitZxox on Tue Mar 31, 2009 1:12 pm

about 2 hours. we have talked about it. neither one of us wanted to fall in love but it just happened. he has been working alot (so he says) he says he still loves me but he is just tired from working. He sounds sincere. i mean if your gf asked u if u wanted to break up, would u be mad about it? he was. when we first started talking we were on the phone all the time, even lost full nights sleep talking to him. now he is always working, phone died, to messed up to talk, or playing video games, but when we do talk, when ever that is, he sounds for real about it. so....

xoxSkitZxox
 
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Re: Cyber Dating

Postby Karmallama on Tue Mar 31, 2009 1:38 pm

No offence, but if you're in love, two hours is f*ck all.

I dated a girl that was 7hrs and a minimum of £450 travel expenses away for a few years. We talked regularly and saw each other as often as we could.

My point is that if he IS serious he'll at least be interested in meeting you when he's talking about marriage.

It seems like this guys just happy to keep you onside for some reason... which I find suspicious because normally a guy would be wanting to get as much sex as possible with as little or no commitment as possible.

I know I'm not an all knowing fountain of truth, but all things considered, your situation is unusual and with what info you've given I have to say that it sounds like he has a significant other and is looking to keep his options open in some way or just wants some attention that he isn't already getting.

Karmallama
 
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Re: Cyber Dating

Postby xoxSkitZxox on Tue Mar 31, 2009 1:51 pm

yeah thats why im kinda skiddish about it all. he says he wants to come see me, but legal things wont allow that, which i can understand. and he is a good guy, he uses what ever maney he gets to pay rent and take care of his kids. and any advice u give is welcomed and appreciated!

xoxSkitZxox
 
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Re: Cyber Dating

Postby Endora on Tue Mar 31, 2009 1:57 pm

This guy I been talking to says he is in love with me and wants me to marry him, but we have never met in person


Big red flags and klaxons going off. The last bloke to tell me this was a scammer. It's really hard to get your head around the possibility when you really don't want it to be true, but keep your defences up until you meet him and assess the situation properly. If he refuses to meet you then something is most definately wrong. Ditto if he asks you for money - on ANY pretext.

Endora
 
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Re: Cyber Dating

Postby xoxSkitZxox on Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:01 pm

oh believe me, my defences are up. he couldnt break me if he tried. I mean i do have feelings for him but feelings come and go. and I wouldnt ever send him any kind of money. Im not totaly crazy!

xoxSkitZxox
 
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Re: Cyber Dating

Postby Karmallama on Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:22 pm

I'm pretty sure any legal wranglings could be worked out if you give the proper notice or speak to the people enforcing the rules. If not, you could head his way or meet up at a neutral place for a day or two?

I was thinking about the scam thing, but I'm guessing if he's only two hours away and you've spoken to him and are still convinced of his sincerity and that he IS who he says he is, the odds are a lot smaller that he's scamming you. Either way, you seem clued up and aware of those dangers.

For me though, you need to meet him before getting too far into anything. Until then I'm not convinced that he's not hiding something.

Karmallama
 
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Re: Cyber Dating

Postby Laura on Tue Mar 31, 2009 4:30 pm

If your skiddish about meeting him why, WHY, would you even think about marriage. That is no easy task girlfriend.

A few hours and your in LOVE.

I know it sounds like preaching but take a look at what your in love with.

Attention, on the phone on line (who isnt) attention is great!
Saying great things to you again on the phone or on line. (did you know he is in in boxers no shirt and spagetti caught in his chest hair, which most likely he will pick out, and eat later?)
He has ten of you, its what keeps him going.

Look, the point is.. you dont know who he is at all, you dont know what he is like at all. You really cant even say you know what he looks like for sure. Getting married is a great dream. It is what come after that is important. The rest of your life! Atleast try to choose wisely. You can not accept a proposal from on line, or over the phone.

You two need to spen time together, real time. Life will no longer be with you climbing in bed alone or him. What if he doesnt brush his teeth, or scratches in places when he is nervous, or best yet gets violent when he doesnt get his way? What if you meet him and dont wnt to even kiss him?

Romance is a wonderful thing. Attention is a wonderful thing, marriage is a wonderful thing too. But for people that know eachother and know what they are getting into, and even then, it has its challenges.

Once you get fond of him here, on line and on the phone, then you start to think about meeting.Date, then see.

I'm not trying to be a killjoy but girl? Unless your biological clock is on fire, and even then. See above.

Laura
 
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Re: Cyber Dating

Postby xoxSkitZxox on Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:05 pm

LMAO your so funny! ok let me get it together. i do know wat he looks like cuz i seen him on cam, not to bad i might say. but am i stupid enough to really say yes and mean it? HELL NO!! come on i mean thats freakin nuts!

xoxSkitZxox
 
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