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CHEATERS..

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CHEATERS..

Postby Riri 44 days, 6 hours ago

Why do men cheat??

Riri
 
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Re: CHEATERS..

Postby Sami 42 days, 20 hours ago

If i found right one for me. I would never ever cheat her or make her sad for a purpose.
I honor good old fashioned marriage and i dont want just fuck i can wait as long as i need to.

Sami
 
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Re: CHEATERS..

Postby Red51 42 days, 20 hours ago

Funny you should ask... you have to look inward. Because, you see, it's not just us "guys" who cheat. Women (my first ex included) cheat too. The reasons are probably as varied as each situation. People cheat, mainly, for several reasons:

1. They are unhappy in their current situation but they lack the courage it takes to end a relationship before jumping into a new one. These people are those who fear an empty bed ("No one will love me if I'm by myself, so I'll make sure I have a backup lover before I'm left all alone!). These people see others as a mirror; and without that mirror, they think they are less than they really are. These people can change, but it isn't easy.

2. or they are people with sociopathic leanings ("It's all about me, and screw everyone else, cause I'm getting mine!"). These people hurt many others along the way. They are a danger to everyone around them, and they should be avoided at all costs. Most often, you will recognize them because these people have a "bad boy" or "bad girl" attitude. These people cannot change: Once a sociopath, always a sociopath.

3. They convince themselves that they are just adding spice to their lives and relationship ("I won't get caught!"). These people don't understand what an honest relationship is; they are socially inept or totally stupid. I know many guys who fit into both sides of this category. Cheating men are much more stupid than cheating women... we are caught much more often by our women than we catch them cheating. When a relationship suddenly ends, the man always says, "I didn't have a clue, until she told me, 'we need to talk.' " A cheater in this category can learn, unless they're just stupid. You can't fix stupid.

4. They came from a broken home and never really learned how to have a mature, loving relationship based on integrity, communication, and honor. These are lost children who never did grow up, and they need the most help of all, but they can overcome the lack of "nurture" in their upbringing, but only if they decide consciously to re-invent themselves and create a new future.

Now, I bet I'll get a lot of flack!
Last edited by Red51 on 42 days, 19 hours ago, edited 3 times in total.

Red51
 
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Re: CHEATERS..

Postby Red51 42 days, 19 hours ago

BTW, although I've been sorely tempted, I personally have never cheated on my partner, and I never will. Look for integrity and honesty in a person; if you find it, you won't go wrong. If you catch them in a lie, run like hell.

Red51
 
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Re: CHEATERS..

Postby Karen 42 days, 14 hours ago

1. They are unhappy in their current situation but they lack the courage it takes to end a relationship before jumping into a new one. These people are those who fear an empty bed ("No one will love me if I'm by myself, so I'll make sure I have a backup lover before I'm left all alone!). These people see others as a mirror; and without that mirror, they think they are less than they really are. These people can change, but it isn't easy.


This is so true....I met yet another guy online - he tells me his situation is 'complicated' so I tell him - ok friends I don't need complicated. He then tells me he is living with a friends son - sleeping on his couch because him and the little woman are on the verge of breaking up. Now ladies here is what bothered me - where he lived was a huge secret - I thought wow that is weird but then we are only friends so no biggy. We hang out - go the movies, baseball games - this guy basically invades my life but nothing goes on we are just friends and thats all. I leave for my daughters wedding and he goes to see 'his sister' in California. He works for a major airline and he meets me at the gate - takes me to my car and then kisses me. He then tells me he has decided to get a divorce. He is moving 'back' into the house because his wife is going on the road to do her OTJ and he needs to be there for his son. Still stunned by this I still treat him like just friends cause I really am no up to be the other woman and there is just something not right about all of this. About a month later I host a party for a friend who's husband has been cheating on her and get a bit wasted - he of course is there to take me home where in my drunken state he takes advantage of me - yes I know I liked him but still there was something about his story that just did not set right. Short version - she divorces him - his kids hate me because they think I broke up their family but it comes out that he had been doing the neighbor before I came into the picture - I just apparently looked better???. He is history - after his youngest son slashed my tire and his twins called her called me the C word. He was a spineless worm who was looking for a replacement for his wife....but won't find one until he learns how to respect women

Karen
 
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Re: CHEATERS..

Postby John 42 days, 9 hours ago

And then there are those few ppl and actually its a very large number that are in open marriages such as myself and so i guess its not cheating persay but believe that sex and love have absolutely nothing to do with each other and just want to experience different people but are happy with the spouse they have. This would be the reason for Ashley Madison and why people need to become way less uptight.

John
 
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Re: CHEATERS..

Postby Red51 42 days, 9 hours ago

John, I respect your frankness, and I agree that you aren't cheating if you and your wife engage in an open lifestyle and marriage.

If, however, one member of the couple was coerced in ANY way into an "open marriage," it is cheating because you are hurting your spouse every time you sleep outside the marriage bed.. If any new individual is not told of the open situation BY the interested party's mate, it's cheating--open marriage isn't an "I don't give a shit what you think, I'm sleeping around" lifestyle. If one of the partners develops an outside emotional bond (i.e., falls in love) and doesn't break it off immediately, he or she is cheating. Please re-read #3 more carefully, because this category is where many 'so-called' open-relationship people slam into the wall. Spice is a dangerous drug to any marriage, open or otherwise. In the last case (which happens too many times), you also risk your honor, your integrity, your word.

Red51
 
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Re: CHEATERS..

Postby Tim 42 days, 2 hours ago

Why do women cheat. It's not just men. I caught my ex in bed with another guy that is why she's my ex now.

Tim
 
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Re: CHEATERS..

Postby Red51 41 days, 23 hours ago

Karen, you may have made some bad choices in hooking up with this mama's boy (probably never lived a day without a woman "doing" for him), and further inflamed the situation by being hopeful and indecisive in not breaking it off earlier, but you were never the cause. Cheating is the symptom of a bad marriage or relationship.

Still, you probably would have saved yourself a boatload of trouble by running sooner. But, we're all human, and I believed you learned a good, if a little unpleasant, lesson.


Oh yeah, if anyone tells you, when you first meet, that his situation is "complicated," run like hell!

Red51
 
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Re: CHEATERS..

Postby sweety 41 days, 20 hours ago

Tim wrote:Why do women cheat. It's not just men. I caught my ex in bed with another guy that is why she's my ex now.

Even if you are a boyfreind grifreind husband and wifes. Some one going to cheat on some one look at HollyWood
they got alot of divorces going through Another name for Cheater Is a Player and playing with some ones heart
is really wrong. :evil:

sweety
 
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