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Advice about an ex BF....my heads a mess...

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Advice about an ex BF....my heads a mess...

Postby Hayley 18 days, 18 hours ago

Hi,

I was with a guy for a year and a half and it got to the point he broke my trust by lieing. I always suspected he was cheating, he said he wasnt and only dated a girl when we was on a break (but it was only for a week and a half), the girl told me she dumped him because he stitched her, but she wouldnt tell me how long it went on for. Anyway I got so paranoid that in the end after a few months I broke it off. I had an arguement with him and told him I really didnt want to know anymore. He told me he didnt care and cheekily asked me to get on with my life. I blocked his email addy, number and ### and got on with things. I text him a week later to ask him to send a book back to me which he had, he agreed he would and that was that. Then he emailed me saying he sent the book, then he left me a vm saying the same thing and when I got the book there was a sorry note and we started talking. I realised things were going to end up confusing again and I needed space and it was the wrong time, so I asked hi to not contact me again as I wasnt ready. He left me a 5 minute vm saying he didnt want that and seemed upset, so I gave in.

We met up at easter and he even bought me a massive easter egg and had my name iced on it. After we met up I realised we got on well and we also ended up in bed. I wasn't sure what was going on and I wasnt sure if I liked this situation so I told him not to contact me. He also lied to his friends where he was that afternoon, I told his mates where he was and kindly asked them to ask him to leave me alone too. He sent me a text and told me I was a 'dick' for teling his mates to get him to leave me alone. I tried to explain to him that several times I wanted to cut ties but he always ended up getting in contact and when i said 'no' he would make me feel guilty by leaving me vm's. He told me he disliked me and to never speak to him again, so I agreed and didnt contact him. 2 weeks later low and behold he emails me again and I couldnt help texting him asking him why he is contacting me (i know I shouldnt have), he told me he missed me. I realised after those 2 weeks I missed him too, and again stupidly told him i loved him and missed him.

He sent me a text saying he is very fond of me, his feelings are big for me and he really likes me, but to say he loves me is wrong. I told him he told me he loved me last year and why did he lie, he said it was last year and things change, he said aftereverything thats happened how can he, but he has big feelings for me and still really likes me and fancies me. I asked what we will do about this mess and he said he didnt know but would like to be friends. My friends have told me he is leaving me as an option and he doesnt want me to get over him and he is going to hurt me. I also feel I need to move on, I told him the other day I didnt know if I could be friends and he got annoyed saying im pushing him away.

I text him this evening and again said i cant do it, i have feelings for him and he has for me, so being friends at the moment is wrong. I told him that if he started seeing someone else it would torture me and until we have both moved on it wont work. Do you think he is wanting more, or leaving me as an option. If he gets annoyed and wants to be friends should I, does he have feelings or is he dangling me on a string to feed his ego. I love him alot but i dont want to get hurt..help?

Hayley
 
Posts: 3
Joined: 62 days, 4 hours ago
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Re: Advice about an ex BF....my heads a mess...

Postby Elma 18 days, 18 hours ago

There is one thing to have feelings another thing to be in love.
I have strong feelings for one man but i can´t say i love him.
But i got to agree with your friends, he is most likely having you as an option.
From an experience i know only one thing and to be able to move on and not be hurt time and time again you need to cut on all communitaction with him unless you want to go on torturing yourself.
But only you can make that decision.

Elma
 
Posts: 109
Joined: 22 days, 18 hours ago
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Re: Advice about an ex BF....my heads a mess...

Postby Shane 18 days, 12 hours ago

oh godn i hate to say this but he is using you :idea:

why would you want a guy that cant even tell his friends that he is with you (only reason i can think of is embarressment sorry) :oops:

but seriously kick his arse to the kerb and have nothing to do with him. he is a user :shock:

:twisted:

Shane
 
Posts: 746
Joined: 32 days, 12 hours ago
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Re: Advice about an ex BF....my heads a mess...

Postby Hayley 17 days, 23 hours ago

His friends did always know about me and his family. When we last broke up he didnt tell them he was seeing me, maybe due to pride as he said it was over and then went back on his word? :?

Hayley
 
Posts: 3
Joined: 62 days, 4 hours ago
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Re: Advice about an ex BF....my heads a mess...

Postby Crosseyed luke 17 days, 19 hours ago

have you heard of having your cake and eatting it to? He is free to look for some other piece of ass, wile you just hold on willing to be second ( whether you know it or not) WAKE-UP don't act so desperete! there are a lot of men out there, you realy do have your choice.

Crosseyed luke
 
Posts: 24
Joined: 28 days, 22 hours ago
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Re: Advice about an ex BF....my heads a mess...

Postby Kirsty 16 days, 18 hours ago

Remove all contact with him get a new number/email etc. The guys using u hes what u would call a "player" hes emotionally blackmailing u! Once u find out about lies there would normally be many more to follow.

Kirsty
 
Posts: 177
Joined: 165 days, 16 hours ago
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Re: Advice about an ex BF....my heads a mess...

Postby Guitarplayer2189 16 days, 17 hours ago

yea just move on, there's plenty of people out there..."dont make someone a priority who makes you an option"

Guitarplayer2189
 
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Joined: 16 days, 17 hours ago
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Re: Advice about an ex BF....my heads a mess...

Postby miranda 14 days, 11 hours ago

Shane wrote:oh godn i hate to say this but he is using you :idea:

why would you want a guy that cant even tell his friends that he is with you (only reason i can think of is embarressment sorry) :oops:

but seriously kick his arse to the kerb and have nothing to do with him. he is a user :shock:

:twisted:


i agree totally! i would also sujuest you give away any porn you made together to a responsable adult!!

miranda
 
Posts: 11
Joined: 14 days, 12 hours ago
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Re: Advice about an ex BF....my heads a mess...

Postby Shane 14 days, 11 hours ago

miranda wrote:
Shane wrote:oh godn i hate to say this but he is using you :idea:

why would you want a guy that cant even tell his friends that he is with you (only reason i can think of is embarressment sorry) :oops:

but seriously kick his arse to the kerb and have nothing to do with him. he is a user :shock:

:twisted:


i agree totally! i would also sujuest you give away any porn you made together to a responsable adult!!



yes good idea just dont send it to me that i can do without :lol::lol::lol:

oh you are funny you will fit in well round here :D:D:D

Shane
 
Posts: 746
Joined: 32 days, 12 hours ago
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