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why is said that " good guys can never win "

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why is said that " good guys can never win "

Postby VISH PRODIGY on Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:23 am

well ... always had this thing in mind to be good to others and to understand females around and to care for then dosnt help ourself around as they take u for granted , and u end up in pain ,



i have heard and realised and heard that " good guys can never win " i feel its very true ... so there is no space for good guys and to be bad and to dich females is right in this world i suppose,....


love vishal ..

VISH PRODIGY
 
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Re: why is said that " good guys can never win "

Postby Ross Jackson on Fri Apr 10, 2009 11:07 am

A common stereotype is that "nice guys finish last." The phrase is attributed to baseball manager Leo Durocher, though Durocher was originally referring to the opposing team rather than to male/female relationship dynamics. The full quote is, "All nice guys. They'll finish last. Nice guys. Finish last."

The "nice guys finish last" view is that there is a discrepancy between women's stated preferences and their actual choices in men: in other words, women say that they want nice guys, but really go for men who are "jerks", or "bad boys" in the end. Desrochers claims that many "sensitive" men do not believe that women want "nice guys" due to their personal experiences.

According to McDaniel, popular culture and dating advice "suggest that women claim they want a 'nice guy' because they believe that is what is expected of them when, in reality, they want the so-called 'challenge' that comes with dating a not-so-nice guy."

Urbaniak & Kilmann write that:

"Although women often portray themselves as wanting to date kind, sensitive, and emotionally expressive men, the nice guy stereotype contends that, when actually presented with a choice between such a 'nice guy' and an unkind, insensitive, emotionally-closed, 'macho man' or 'jerk,' they invariably reject the nice guy in favor of his 'so-called' macho competitor."

Another perspective is that women do want "nice guys," at least when they are looking for romantic relationship. Desrochers suggests that "it still seems popular to believe that women in contemporary America prefer men who are 'sensitive,' or have feminine personality traits." Women have differing opinions about whether "nice guys finish last" sexually or not.

Herold & Milhausen found that 56% of 165 university women agreed with the statement: "You may have heard the expression, 'Nice guys finish last.' In terms of dating, and sex, do you think women are less likely to have sex with men who are 'nice' than men who are 'not nice'?" A third view is that while "nice guys" may not be as successful at attracting women sexually, they may be sought after by women looking for long-term romantic relationships.

Herold & Milhausen claim that "while nice guys may not be competitive in terms of numbers of sexual partners, they tend to be more successful with respect to longer-term, committed relationships." However, an immediate conclusion which may be drawn from this is that the longer-term, committed relationships were only sought by the women once they had had their lives overtaken by circumstances of pregnancy, abuse or disease.

Another study indicates that "for brief affairs, women tend to prefer a dominating, powerful and promiscuous man". Further evidence appears in a 2005 study in Prague - "Since women can always get a man for a one-night stand, they gain an advantage if they find partners for child-rearing".

In 2003, Dr. Robert Glover published a book called, No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What you want in Love, Sex, and Life. Glover, a psychotherapist in Bellevue, WA, based his book on experience with his clients and his own life. His book traces the society and family origins of the "nice guy syndrome." His work led to the creation of an online support group for men.

Tony Clink offers an explanation for why many women are attracted to the jerk rather than the nice guy:

"It's not because women like jerks. Women prefer polite over rude, and attentive over distracted. The problem is the way nice guys present these positive characteristics. In order to appear friendly and romantic, these 'nice guys' think they have to turn off their sexuality. They hide their desires in order not to offend, presenting an androgynous, asexual persona. The first impression they give is one of emasculation, weakness, and lack of desire. At best, they confuse the woman as to whether they even find her attractive. That's what jerks offer women that nice guys don't: they're not afraid to be sexual."

Ross Jackson
 
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Re: why is said that " good guys can never win "

Postby VISH PRODIGY on Sat Apr 11, 2009 12:00 am

yess u are very right .. on your points ... actually can say its a practical aspect of life what it reflects on your reply ... and that nice to hear but still actually what the sort of remedy of this ...

so got to change self to get good results or to stick to it and get hurted again ...


was nice reading your nice words ..

thanks

vishal

VISH PRODIGY
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 2:41 am
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