FreeHookup Dating Community

[Colin]

they like shorter so when they lay their heads against us their heads are resting on our chests. it's their comfort zone

[~*K0in0philia*~]

they like shorter so when they lay their heads against us their heads are resting on our chests. it's their comfort zone

aww .. I think thats true too..

[Jason]

Sadly, height is definitely a major factor in online dating. A lot of girls won't even look twice at a guy's profile if he isn't a certain minimum height (this varies depending on the girl, most girls just want a guy who's as tall as them in heels) and if there is a fairly even choice of guys in every other respect, they will likely go with the taller one by default.

The problem is that in an online environment, all a girl really has to go on (apart from your photo and whatever profile you've written) is your 'stats'. She'll cut through the masses of profiles out there with ruthless abandon, dispatching anyone who doesn't tick all her boxes - and height is one of those key boxes for many women. Even a girl who would definitely be attracted to you when meeting you in person and getting to know you as a whole person may not give you that opportunity when browsing your profile online.

For a scientific study, a guy even went so far as to create two identical online dating profiles on the same site, except with differing heights on each one, needless to say the taller profile received significantly more response than it's shorter equivalent.

Speaking as someone who is slightly below average height (I'm 5'6) I've experienced all different responses from girls. I've been out with taller girls upto about 5'10 who didn't care about being taller, I've been begrudgingly rejected by taller girls who found me attractive but just couldn't deal with the height difference, I've even been rejected by shorter girls who inexplicably prefer disproportionately taller men.

A friend of mine recommended that I exaggerate my height on my profile to 'get my foot in the door' (and according to girls I've dated, this happens a LOT!). His logic was that a minor fib would vastly increase the number of dates I could get, and then once I got face to face with the girls, I could let my other qualities compensate for this 'minor transgression' on the night.

While I imagine this could certainly work for me, I prefer to remain honest and upfront about myself (I'm perfectly comfortable with my height after all) and just be a 'what you see is what you get' guy. In any case, I think I'd get on better with a 'deeper' girl who is not consumed by these outdated superficial values, so why lie to attract the shallower ones? ;-D

I guess in my experience, the bottom line is if they are sufficiently attracted to your other qualities then some of them can look past the height thing, but it's definitely a significant factor for most of the women out these, and shorter men are excluded by the vast majority of girls who are just surfing profiles superficially and not prepared to look deeper.

The key thing to remember is that prejudice from 'anyone', male or female with regard to your height is a weakness of their judgement (and probably their character) and not something you should have to apologise for.

Thanks Lukask, I hear u, I dont want to lie about my height to decieve anyone, I know how it feels. I went on a date with a girl i met online and she lied about her weight, she just wasnt a few pounds overweight, she was a very large woman who posted an older pix of herself. I felt like she decieved me then, and would decieve me later if anything continued. Although she was fun and nice, I expect people to be up front and honest and had to discontinue our relationship. I have dated taller girls in the past, but you are right, they look at the "stats" and that is all they have to go on. It is unfortunate, they are missing out on a "great man". I wont lose any sleep over it, the comments and advise from others is nice to hear.

[Selena]

For the same reason men put an emphasis on breast size

[ciera]

well when girls are looking for their perfect mate, they always want someone who makes them feel like a dainty lady. its a physiological thing. our brains are hardwired to look for the bigger thicker football player-built men because those were the men that would have helped a cave woman take care of and raise healthy offspring. and well now that type of man is not necessarily the best provider and the most secure. i wonder if evolution will change and hundreds of years in the future people will be inexplicably attracted to guys with the build of a computer scientist??

i always tell my friends they are silly for not dating shorter men.. and silently hope that their soul mate is short because that means that karma actually works!

[Lukasx]

For the same reason men put an emphasis on breast size

Wouldn't the equivalent to breast size emphasis be penis size emphasis instead of height?

[Stuart]

i do wish that women should feel the same way i feel that iam 5,7. I understand that women likes tall men & its does hurt me that bad, i wonder why?

[Lukasx]

well when girls are looking for their perfect mate, they always want someone who makes them feel like a dainty lady. its a physiological thing. our brains are hardwired to look for the bigger thicker football player-built men because those were the men that would have helped a cave woman take care of and raise healthy offspring. and well now that type of man is not necessarily the best provider and the most secure. i wonder if evolution will change and hundreds of years in the future people will be inexplicably attracted to guys with the build of a computer scientist??

i always tell my friends they are silly for not dating shorter men.. and silently hope that their soul mate is short because that means that karma actually works!

I think you're right about this. What makes me laugh is that in sports (i.e. boxing, martial arts, wrestling, etc) a man's perceived 'size' is defined purely by his weight (presumably why competitors are divided by weight class), whereas out in society it is primarily defined by his height (and also his weight/build to some degree). I'm sure a lot of thought went into selecting the fairest way of setting divisions for sports based on overall physical advantage, it's interesting that people's instincts in society on what is a physical advantage should differ so much from the carefully considered decisions made in sports.

Perhaps, a lot of it does just stem from what was said earlier about us being taught as children to 'look up' to adults (who are usually taller than us when we are young), and some people hold onto that infant connection between height and authority/protection/comfort into their adulthood, whilst the attitudes of others evolve and mature as they do.

I think a lot of these perceptions are reinforced by the media too though. The same advertising campaigns that encourage everyone to be tanned, toned, white-teethed fashion models with perfect hair are also what push traditional stereotypical values of what couples should look like (i.e. taller guy, shorter girl), which makes those of us who are influenced by such things feel awkward and self-conscious when they try breaking with convention.

I guess I just find it ironic (and slightly amusing) that in a society where women are literally fighting for equality and independence from men, there still remains a natural (possibly genetic) submissive streak that influences most women when choosing a mate.

[Alan Alpha]

For the same reason men put an emphasis on breast size

i prefer smaller than large

[Lukasx]

Were you overfed as a newborn?