FreeHookup Dating Community

[I am FreeHookup]

What exactly are they talking about?

They also say stuff like, I've had my fun and I'm ready to settle down. That sounds so boring! What's wrong with being settled and also having fun? Some of these women sound so angry. Most of us don't like bitchy attitudes; we like to hang out with people who are happy and are nice to be around. Why would I want to feel chained to anyone like that?

[Elma]

What exactly are they talking about?

They also say stuff like, I've had my fun and I'm ready to settle down. That sounds so boring! What's wrong with being settled and also having fun? Some of these women sound so angry. Most of us don't like bitchy attitudes; we like to hang out with people who are happy and are nice to be around. Why would I want to feel chained to anyone like that?

When i say i don´t like games....i mean i don´t like to be played tricks on, i don´t like hide and seek......do you get what i mean?
Settled down doesn´t mean there will be no fun, of course all of us want to have fun, so something different from time to time and so on.
Of course some women may be angry, other bitter, some know what they want, others don´t and so on

[Meliesa]

I'm going to go through a scenario in which a woman may come away believing the man was playing games.

They meet. They feel the spark of attraction.

As they get to know one another, they start to bond. Depending on the people involved, they may sleep together.

At some point in this scenario, she gets about 10 steps ahead of him emotionally. She's got his attention, and it feels GOOOOOOOD, and she wants more of it. He feels her getting ahead of him and wanting more, and it starts to NOT feel GOOD to him.

He begins to with-draw. She gets needy and chases.

Many times, in this scenario, the guy will not have a break up conversation. He'll just start acting uninterested, and wait for her to notice. She's still trying to fix or repair the relationship -- to get back to that phase that felt so GOOOOD. He's waiting for her to get mad enough to break it off.

There are ways out of this scenario. They require emotional maturity and communication. Women need to learn how to not get so far ahead emotionally that the relationship stops bringing joy to the man. Men need to learn how to give reassurance so women don't feel needy when men need space.

Women need to learn how to set boundaries and refuse to put up with uninterested, bad boyfriend behavior. Men need to learn to break up when they're done instead of waiting for us to do it for them.

This is often what's happening when women say men are playing games.

[I am FreeHookup]

Meliesa,

Thank you for your intelligent, heartfelt posting. Of course, this also happens to men as well. People often look to avoid a situation rather than being honest. If one person likes a person more than the other one, the balance of power is off. When that happens someone is going to get hurt. I guess if it's intentional, then it would be game playing. A lot of times it isn't intentional.

I don't think this issue can be resolved without honest communication, which isn't easy, even if you know someone well.

[Elma]

Meliesa,

Thank you for your intelligent, heartfelt posting. Of course, this also happens to men as well. People often look to avoid a situation rather than being honest. If one person likes a person more than the other one, the balance of power is off. When that happens someone is going to get hurt. I guess if it's intentional, then it would be game playing. A lot of times it isn't intentional.

I don't think this issue can be resolved without honest communication, which isn't easy, even if you know someone well.

It may not be easy but has to be said, you can´t go around making someon belive you like them then time passes and the truth comes out...that hurts more....the sooner it´s said the easier it´s going to be to hear and get over.
The best thing is to be honest and talk.