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Why do nice Guys finish last?

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Why do nice Guys finish last?

Postby James on Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:17 am

when one tries to be a gentleman it seems to be a turnoff these days....is there any room for us romantics out there anymore?? :roll:

James
 
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Re: Why do nice Guys finish last?

Postby Laura on Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:47 am

So not true. But there is a difference between being picked up with flowers in hand, opening doors, draping your coat on her when its cold, and all that shilverous stuff and riding in on a white horse to wisk her away.

I'm finding most girls want to be treated like ladies but now have a sense of independance as well. I suppose it can be a tough balance for you guys to figure out. In this day and age or economy, both people have to work and have to be successful at what they do. It can be hard for a woman to work all day and be assertive in some sort of leadership roll but then take on the roll of old fashion woman. Kiss and hug, I cook, you take out the garbage. You open the doors I batt my eyes and say thank you. Can you immagine how awkward or uncomfortable the transition between the two lives might be? I think you get it.

The appreciation for Shilvery has not ended! The distrubution of tasks at home and rolls of men and women have changed.

On a fun note. I would predict you date smart and successful, independant and maybe powerful women. There are all kinds. If you want to be the knight you may want to try dating a princess. Otherwise hang in there, you will eventually find a woman with the right balance for you, dont give up being a "nice guy".

The old turtle and hare. The nice guys dont finish last in the long run!

Laura
 
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Re: Why do nice Guys finish last?

Postby Richard on Wed Mar 25, 2009 12:15 pm

Depends what u mean by gentleman. Chivalry still makes a good impression on a woman, its what u do the rest of the time that really matters.

Richard
 
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Re: Why do nice Guys finish last?

Postby soltarius on Fri Mar 27, 2009 8:43 pm

SINGLE nice guys finish LAST, BUTTTT, MARRIED nice guy finish FIRST..

soltarius
 
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Re: Why do nice Guys finish last?

Postby Jim on Sat Mar 28, 2009 10:40 am

I'm not nice & I still finish last :twisted:

Jim
 
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Re: Why do nice Guys finish last?

Postby James on Sat Mar 28, 2009 10:22 pm

Well, solitarious' reply doesn't make an ounce of sense to me whatsoever. I've seen it in marriage also,

The fact is there is a vast difference between niceness and goodness. I am reading a book called "No More Christian Mr, Nice Guy', It makes some interesting points. Just being nice can often seem glib and disengenuous. It is actions not words that count and all the 'niceties' in the world will not mean much if not underpinned with good intentions. I try to be nice when ever I can and do believe in chivalry. However one may be very chivalrous and nice and may simply be acting out with superficial intentions. Then again, I know truly, truly genuinely nice guys with no obvious real ulterior motive except to be genuinely nice to people and seem to get walked all over, Perhaps it's an indication of the direction humanity is going. Perhaps being genuinely nice allows a door for people to take advantage or may just seem boring to them.
I guess I can only draw from my own experience. I try to be as nice and gentlemanly as I was brought up to be and often met with disinterest. At times when I have not been interested, although I wouldn't stop being nice to someone although I seemed to generate more interest.

Solitarius, what the heck do you mean about yout comment? I'm not getting the gist of it....?.

James
 
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Re: Why do nice Guys finish last?

Postby Marco on Wed Apr 01, 2009 2:47 am

I think the connotation most people have of "Nice Guy" is too broad.

Women want a challenge, as do men. Almost a "want what you can't have" sensation- the more independent and exciting the person, the more attractive and desirable he/she becomes. Everybody loves a chase.

With that said, many people that are considered "Nice" can often times be boring and dull. Sure, they could have been brought up with the utmost manners and morals- but when it comes to being spontaneous, fun, bring up new sparks, and keeping excitement in a relationship... they come up short. If you can't be fun and continually replenish the excitement in a relationship, your partner will get bored and your relationship will have a swift end.

Those "jerks" and guys that most likely hurt girls- they are FUN. They live life to the fullest, often times on the wild side. Girls like this, it'll make their life entertaining and bring new experiences. Sure, dinner and a movie and snuggling up under some covers watching a flick by the fire is great. But not every night. You need to spice things up, go dancing, go to a party, be spontaneous, be ProActive. Yes girls love the romantic, Twilight, things in a relationship, but they need to have FUN too. Will they get hurt? In some cases they do, but they'll keep going back to those guys because of the confidence they have, the experiences they'll bring, and the exhilarating passion they share- even if its short lived.

"Nice Guys" usually get put into the FRIEND category, because they are great to talk to... but just straight out boring. But again, the connotation of "Nice Guys" is far too broad. I definitely know there are guys that are fun, love to have a great time, and at the same time are sweet and sincere. You can be respectful and still have fun. I guess it depends on how you're raised, and really it's a character thing.

So for any of you that find yourself constantly looking for a partner and never seeming to find one... stop over thinking things, stop trying too hard to be a gentlemen, and just have fun and meet people. Because honestly, if you're truly a "Nice Guy" and truly genuine... you'd be partying with those asshole guys- but you wouldn't finish last because you'd also be sweet and sincere by nature. You shouldn't ever think you're a Nice Guy, or say you're a Nice Guy- girls will see it in due time.

NOTE: I think a lot of this also pertains to age. Younger Girls want to have experiences and don't want to necessarily settle down. They want to have fun and try out those Fun Jerks- because maybe one of them just acts like a Jerk but is a sweet heart inside (Nice Guy). Older Women have already lived through that stage and now seek someone that is settled down and not so much wild, but looking to start a family. Or those really "Nice Guys" can find a really "Nice Girl"... but I can assure you those are a dime a dozen. I'm a Catholic, but I still know how to party. The really, really "Nice Girls" will be your traditional Christians or Mormons that are straight edge and have never held hands with a member of the opposite sex, in which case your boring goody goody tactics might work. I'm not stereotyping- I'm just saying it as it is. But for you're gorgeous, fun and wild girls... sitting around and being nice won't cut it, nor will the Internet. You're going to have to go out and market yourself.

And if you're wondering why I'm here lecturing and using this site, I randomly found this as a Facebook Application. I'm moving 3,000+ miles, from CA to MA, to transfer Universities for athletic ambitions. So I'm using this as a means to make friends before the move. Notice how I said I'm looking for FRIENDS. Friends come first, and then you move onto relationships. Baby Steps fellas, baby steps.

Marco
 
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Re: Why do nice Guys finish last?

Postby NunsRHot on Wed Apr 01, 2009 3:31 am

If you are one of those guys who kiss the ground a woman walks, buys expensive stuff on a first date and sucks up to her yeah then you will finish last because you are boring to her and she hasnt earned your respect to deserve the royal treatment.

Another thing is that you dont want to be like the average guys who surround women each day you need to be different. Also , concetrate on yourself like start a business, do skydiving, get involved in a group activity these things fill your like thus help you put out the thought of women as a priority then women will come to you.

Besides, if a woman is too blind to recognise that you have so much to offer then "Fuck the bitch" she doesnt deserve you anyway and when her paint wears out she will settle for a looser who abuses her and you will be successful, contented and with the person of your dreams.

NunsRHot
 
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Re: Why do nice Guys finish last?

Postby Angela on Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:06 pm

Jeez, we live in a harsh world! Having done the 'I thought he was nice but he wasn't' thing, and being older I would love to meet the 'nice guy'. And no, I am not looking for the excitement and thrill of chasing after someone, if it's right and you want to be together, there is no chasing involved. I like to have doors opened for me but that's just because it's good manners - I would open the door for a pregnant lady or a guy who has his hands full and I also take my own trash out, do my own decorating and cut the grass! So nothing chivalrous about it - it's showing respect for each other and adding to each other's lives, not controlling or changing your life because someone thinks you should. Previous post was correct - if the girl can't appreciate who you are then she isn't right for you.

Angela
 
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Re: Why do nice Guys finish last?

Postby Angela on Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:13 pm

And now that I have seen your profile, you do seem really 'nice' - that's a compliment! Oh, to live in Canada... ;)

Angela
 
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