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[m-gross]

Here is a oldie but a goodie.... Why is it that women say that they want a good guy but when they get one they always end up wanting a bad boy(aka a jerk). Now don't get me wrong i am not talking about a guy that is just a push over or overly nice just a guy that has a good heart and puts his woman first...... It really makes the nice guys start to question why not become a jerk.....but for some of us guys it just is to hard to change into a jerk so we end up just getting hurt over and over....

[Eric]

Its all a load of crap, sorry.

Some women like bad boys, some women like timid folk, others like to be pampered. The only thing 'bad boys' have going for them is confidence IMO. It's all about confidence (not cockyness) in who you are.

[Geoff]

as a nice guy myself i find the biggest problem is that we are to good of a "friend" to be anything else so they go for males that are just plain nasty that just want a quick relationship and dont care at all thats my two cents but like female opinion on why they never want the "nice guy" and why they never look at there friends.

[Richard]

U dont need to be a total arsehole to get the women. U can still be a good guy, just a good guy with an edge about him. Often 'nice guys' are boring and predictable, too worried about saying something that might upset a woman, always putting her needs before his own. U need to be fun. flirty, interesting, exciting and a challenge. U can do all of that without being a total bastard.

[Kris46385]

I fell in love with a good ### spent 17 years together. He left me, so It's not always the guy who gets dumped on.

[mike.d.martinez]

I think it's all a load. Nice guys are nice guys because they know how to act. Bad boys do not. And when the chips have settled, you will be rewarded. Patience fellas. Patience.

[Lukasx]

It often puzzles me though women fight for equal rights and independence, whether it is something they truly want/expect to receive from men. Women all claim to want guys who will respect them and treat them as an equal, but ultimately they are drawn to guys who by default disrespect them and force them to struggle for their equal position.

I have seen in cases with my friends where a woman will become restless and disinterested with them if her relationship is too casual and easy. The sad fact is that women seem to need the challenge of fighting for balance of power with their man - if a man gives over his power too willingly or easily - then the woman loses interest and her eye wanders for a greater challenge in another man! "Treat them mean, keep them keen" is actually the most healthy approach apparently.

I bring up the issue of height here - Women claim to be self-sufficent and independent in modern society, but still claim to need a taller guy to offer the comfort of 'protection' and 'security' to them? You can't have it both ways, you're either independent or submissive.

Makes no logical sense to me, but I guess we are all animals with delusions of enlightenment in the end...

I personallty will by default treat any man/woman with the utmost respect until they demonastrate to me that it is not warranted. Then they better walk away from me quickly...

[Simplymad9]

In my opinion it seems that nice guys are always thrown into the friends category because they either don't ask the girl out in the beginning or don't show their feelings. You don't necessarily need to be over confident, but a risk needs to be taken. She either says yes or no. Notice how Jerks always start with being flirtatious.

The girls (and I say girls) that are into Jerks or bad boys are just that girls. A confident women doesn't want to be disrespected and jerked around, but on the other hand a guy who is passive and a doormat isn't very desired either. It's all about respect and confidence.

[Lukasx]

I respect your opinion Simply. But this is a very fine line to walk. Again I would assert that a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve can easily be perceived to have lost his 'mystery' and his 'desirability'. Whereas a guy who keeps the girl guessing seems to maintain this aura that entices them.

It has been my own misfortune in life that my aloofness and intentional emotional distance from some of my friends girlfriends has seen those girlfriends making shameless and unveiled passes at me because I presumably represent a bigger challenge to them than their men (this is not the case with all my friends girlfriends I might add, but enough to get me thinking in this way!).

Not to disrespect my friends, they are all men who have earned the respect of their peers, but whose continual compromising to appease their girlfriends to maintain harmony in their relationships seems to somehow lessen their appeal.

[budbird]

to lukasx on your confusion over women wanting to be equal and independant yet also wanting a big strong guy to protect them,we want to be respected and treated as capable of dealing and coping with life as equals with men with the knowledge that our partner is always there to stand up for us and support us when we need them to just the same as any grown woman would do for her man. nice guys do win in the end it can take a bit longer to find a woman who has had enough of being hurt by the bad boys but when they do,their relationships are stronger,happier and more lasting simply because they respect the person theyre with and behave decently no matter what. so stick with it nice guys we women get there in the end and appreciate you much more when we do. xx