Register for a freehookup.dating Account
FreeHookup Online Dating
community help signup login

FreeHookup Dating Community

Why do I get stares? (Interracial dating)

Post a reply

Why do I get stares? (Interracial dating)

Postby Drewnov2003 40 days, 8 hours ago

Is it because fo where I live? (mid west)
As a good looking blackman out with a white woman, maybe the stares are more mostly the function of my own sensitivity (could be wrong) because I care about how I'm perceived in society at my age. Younger guys don't give a shit. In the movie SAVE THE LAST DANCE, a mixed couple in a bus sensing stares from an elderly woman, prompted the white girl to say to her black mate, "work with me, I think we have an audience", and they began to make out openly.

My own analysis of the stares is as follows:
1. In the deep conservative south, stares were and may still be used as form of social control, accompanyied by murttering of "shameful". something that would never work in New York or San Fransisco.

2. Some people state in admiration (I do) at the audacity for public display for which I lack the guts, such as a heavily tatooed person, or a woman with ungodly or implausible boobs or making out in public.

3. There must still be a subconscious reaction that is conditioned by our racist past, anything that is perceived as an affront to the social order, and for which interracial dating used to be punished with lynching in the deep south. Having said that, I will get a stare when Im the only person of color in a restaurant of a certail class when dining alone.

4. A white friend of mine from New York was visiting the south last week. (she grew up in Memphis) she went out of her way to find some soul food of chicken and dumplings in a black part of town. The trolley driver cautioned her of going down there by herself, she responded "im from New York, Im not afraid of Kentucky" The stares she
got in the west end were more of the wonder woman variety. They were not like the ones I generated when I accidenly would up at a Mufian restaurant in Little Italy part of Manhattan on a new years eve. It was on my first self guided tour of New York to see new years dropping of the big apple.


5. It also possible that the non subtlity of the stares signify the changing of social conventions that made it rude to gauk and stare generations ago?

6. The innocense and curiosity that little children bring must never be discourage. I often will have eye contact with a curious child riding on a cart at a store,and I'll smile a wave and enjoy its mothers discomfort for whatever reason. "And a little child shall lead them" Children will always lead us forward, they are the answer to socialharmony.

7. I have white friends who have worked in third world rural situations, as in Africa where I was came from originally, where little children of color tag wherever they go like Peater Pan. And speaking of which, Im the Peter Pan at my private school where I teach mostly (only) caucasian children. They feel comfortable enough with me to touch my skin, and wonder why my skin is brown but my palms are white, and feel my hair. "why is your hair so fuzzy" one little girl innocently asked of me once, and then suddenly blushed deeply with embarrassment. I reminded her of that incidence five years later when she was hugging me at her graduation.

Drewnov2003
 
Posts: 2
Joined: 40 days, 17 hours ago
Top

Re: Why do I get stares? (Interracial dating)

Postby Marcus 40 days, 5 hours ago

There will be always be idiots. Not much we can do about it.
Let's still assume that some of those stares are out of curiosity rather than malicious thoughts.
Maybe it is rare down/over there?


I am assuming not EVERYONE stares?

Marcus
 
Posts: 41
Joined: 48 days, 14 hours ago
Top

Re: Why do I get stares? (Interracial dating)

Postby IVY 39 days, 8 hours ago

Your heart is in me decend me staring me down
I am so turn up i tired i got to move around :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:

IVY
 
Posts: 2
Joined: 94 days, 1 hour ago
Top

Re: Why do I get stares? (Interracial dating)

Postby Jason 39 days, 2 hours ago

It can happen everywhere, when I lived in Wisconsin, I worked at a hospital, and for lunchbreak a African-American" woman decided to go out for lunch. Yeah, there were a lot of stares, so I can see where you are coming from

Jason
 
Posts: 786
Joined: 97 days, 3 hours ago
Top

Re: Why do I get stares? (Interracial dating)

Postby ♥§heena♥ 38 days, 23 hours ago

If i see an interracial couple i do look but i don't stare at the people, that's rude. I look because i like to see things like that. I got stares from people as well but i will say that it was from people of my own race more than others especially from the guys. My boyfriend and I would go to a local mall where it was mostly black, and it started to get annoying to feel eyes following you around.

♥§heena♥
 
Posts: 2724
Joined: 39 days, 1 hour ago
Top

Re: Why do I get stares? (Interracial dating)

Postby Jason 38 days, 23 hours ago

♥§Чễ€Иă♥ wrote:If i see an interracial couple i do look but i don't stare at the people, that's rude. I look because i like to see things like that. I got stares from people as well but i will say that it was from people of my own race more than others especially from the guys. My boyfriend and I would go to a local mall where it was mostly black, and it started to get annoying to feel eyes following you around.



would you date a Hispanic, Arab, or Oriental?

Jason
 
Posts: 786
Joined: 97 days, 3 hours ago
Top

Re: Why do I get stares? (Interracial dating)

Postby Tj 38 days, 17 hours ago

Jason wrote:
♥§Чễ€Иă♥ wrote:If i see an interracial couple i do look but i don't stare at the people, that's rude. I look because i like to see things like that. I got stares from people as well but i will say that it was from people of my own race more than others especially from the guys. My boyfriend and I would go to a local mall where it was mostly black, and it started to get annoying to feel eyes following you around.



would you date a Hispanic, Arab, or Oriental?

All that matters is you are truly happy with who you are ###ople will stare but thats what they have eyes ###ey dont need to know your business and needs to mind their own! and why should they care anyway?That happened when my sis dated a white ###ople would stare and make comments but its just dumb. if that ever happened to me i would get annoyed too.I wouldnt mind dating anyone myself..long as they dont treat me like crap!

Tj
 
Posts: 1
Joined: 38 days, 17 hours ago
Top

Re: Why do I get stares? (Interracial dating)

Postby ♥§heena♥ 38 days, 13 hours ago

Jason wrote:would you date a Hispanic, Arab, or Oriental?


Yes my bf was Hispanic actually. I'm open to any race it doesn't matter to me.

♥§heena♥
 
Posts: 2724
Joined: 39 days, 1 hour ago
Top

Re: Why do I get stares? (Interracial dating)

Postby Nordika 38 days, 3 hours ago

My last two relationships were interracial, and we got the stares. He would get them from white men, and I'd get them from black women. It was weird. In my last relationship it was more prominent when I would visit him (down near Seattle) then when he would come up here to Vancouver, but it was there none-the-less.

I think it's partly so ingrained in the culture to be knocked off guard by something so visually obvious going against the 'norms'. Sometimes I don't even think people realise they are doing it until it's done.

It used to bother my partner, but I guess that's in part because he had to deal with that sort of thing all his life, just by the very nature of growing up black in the south, whereas my experience with prejudice was from a reverse perspective growing up white in an all native community. Once I grew up and moved out, I pretty much fit in and didn't face it as often.

Eventually we learned to just ignore it. We were two people who were sharing our hearts and the shade of the skin that separated us had no bearing on that. Neither did outside opinions (or stares).

Nordika
 
Posts: 305
Joined: 54 days, 6 hours ago
Top

Re: Why do I get stares? (Interracial dating)

Postby Jimmy 37 days, 11 hours ago

it seems like everyone has a staring problem nowadays. everyone else(for the most part) is more interested in everyone elses buisness when they should be worried about their own. :?

Jimmy
 
Posts: 14
Joined: 104 days, 16 hours ago
Top

Next

Post a reply

Return to Ask a Girl