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why do girls go for the guys that treat um bad?

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Re: why do girls go for the guys that treat um bad?

Postby Matt 71 days, 1 hour ago

"SHE SAYS: No, but we think we do. As someone who dated a jerk, whom I now refer to as my friends "learning experience," I seen them admit to falling under the jerk spell. Here’s how the jerk spell works: we meet the jerk and in some twisted way are seduced by his confidence, charm, and passion. We don’t see these as the disguises they are: confidence is really arrogance, charm comes from him being a player, and his passion is being the center of his own universe."

:::The jerk sniffs out our insecurities and uses them to reel us in with compliments that eventually turn into criticisms. And if we see a red flag, like the time my "learning experience" told me his definition of a relationship was "light, fun and physical," we play mind games with ourselves:::

We use our normally rational inner voice to convince ourselves that we can tame him or that with the right kind of girlfriend he will lose his jerk armor and transform into a leading man fit for a romantic comedy. Come on ladies, what are we thinking?!?

A jerk loves being a jerk -- way more than he loves us. I guess if they’ve always gotten away with treating people poorly and nobody ever set them straight, why would they change? Besides, a jerk seems to always have an attractive woman on his arm laughing at his mediocre jokes and ignoring his wandering gaze. How? I think it’s because deep down every woman wants a challenge or a little danger. It’s not really the jerk we like; it’s the thrill of the chase, the rush of adrenaline when the jerk’s phone number pops up on our cell (which is usually right after last call). However, it’s been my experience that "jerkdom" isn’t some phase we can pull a guy out of. Guys only outgrow that phase when life no longer succumbs to their demands. Any woman who has dated a jerk for more than a week knows that it’s a hollow relationship that ultimately leaves you disappointed, hurt, and commiserating with your friends.

The only challenge worth overcoming when dating a jerk is to not let him affect or define your self worth. So if there is a jerk out there making your heart go pitter-pat and estrogen is messing with your reasoning, go ahead and let him woo you, but when he asks for your number tell him that you only date guys who prove their value by respecting a woman. If he’s a jerk he’ll roll his eyes, say you have an attitude and snicker as he leaves. If he sincerely accepts your ground rules, then chances are you should give him at least one date to prove he’s relationship material. Although you may not be spellbound at first, the nice guy without all the smooth answers may ultimately fulfill your needs in more meaningful ways.

HE SAYS: As much as I hate to say it, girls love jerks! At least until the jerk stops calling, which is usually right after he gets what he wants. Speaking from the guy’s perspective, I’ve never quite understood what draws sane, attractive, bright women to guys who act like jerks. Maybe it is the thrill of the unexpected. Maybe it is trying to outplay him in his own game. Maybe it is hoping that deep down he is a nice guy and you are going to prove it to your naysayer friends. What I do know is that too many women who could easily be in a healthy relationship instead choose the cliffhanger ending of dating a jerk that walks with a swagger, winks at anything that moves, and always has a one-liner at the ready.

Truth be told, there aren’t many nice guys who haven’t considered acting like a jerk, especially when they steal your girl (here I speak from experience). However, daydreaming of jerkdom fades as soon as nice guys remember one thing: being a jerk means acting like a jerk all the time. That means causing the mental pain and emotional anguish that drives a girl to phone her friends -- guy friends included -- crying about what the jerk did to her in public on their first date. Even guys bear the brunt of girls who fall head over heels for jerks.

If you’re a girl who feels worse about yourself with every jerk you date, I hope you will make a big move towards respecting yourself and go on a date with a nice guy. They may not offer the drama and constant criticism you’ve come to expect, but they also won’t try to hook up with you after dropping off their other girlfriend. And if you are having trouble distinguishing between a jerk and a nice guy, here are three ways to tell:

He’s probably a jerk if he tells you to skip desert because your butt already jiggles enough.

He’s definitely a jerk if he "guilts" you into doing things that make you feel bad about yourself -- usually starting with the line "If you really cared about me..."

He’s absolutely a jerk if he takes you on a date and leaves you the bill, while he leaves with the waitress.

The Jerk.

Matt
 
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Re: why do girls go for the guys that treat um bad?

Postby Sheila 64 days, 5 hours ago

In reply to jerkdom, yep been there done that sold the t shirt, basically because the jerk shirt got wayyyyy to tight lolol sitting in a cafe chatting with the jerk and he suddenly gets a phone call and immediatly runs away to answer it Now ,I dont know about you other ladies but that raises a red flag RIGHT AWAY , he says oh it was my mother but later slips and says it is the OTHER ex girlfriend, soooo we gullible ladies get past that and THEN the next day u call said jerk tell him u r getting off early and would like to have a beverage with said jerk and he says' QUOTE i am shopping for a ring for u in my comfy pants and dont really feel comfy out with u dressed like that> So like a common idiot we ladies fall or said jerks explanation. that same evening said jerks ex lady phones him and he lies to her about who he is with , namely me, so ex lady phones house and asks to speak to me said jerk is very reluctant to let u talk to her but u wrestle phone from said jerk and introduce your self, she proceeds to tell you that she and said jerk had sex earlier that day and that said jerk is a really big jerk cause he told that he was buying u a ring while in actuallity he was having sex with her in his truck, and being the niave idiot that i was i believed that she was just being a typical ex UNTILL she was able to repeat exactly what said jerk told me in way of explanation as to why he couldn't meet me for a beverage,Concequently , said jerk had a very painfull lesson from a very nice girl who after that experience threw out the t shirt WITH said jerk in it

Sheila
 
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Re: why do girls go for the guys that treat um bad?

Postby Randy 35 days, 7 hours ago

Because,so few of you have met ME. Alpha-Dog, may be,outside alpha-beta, nonsense I ###OOOO many poor girls have a non-sensical beliefe that they need to ###EY may be wrong...NO-ONE needs to "fix" everthing,JUST LIVE,enjoy,don't hurt yourself,or anyone ###IT,already.

Randy
 
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Re: why do girls go for the guys that treat um bad?

Postby Nathan 35 days, 3 hours ago

MiSgUiDeD AnGeL wrote:
Calvin wrote:as question sez,, why do girls do that? reason i ask is because i rekon im a decent guy i got 3 jobs,i treat girls with respect,,then u seem 2 be getting some where,then all of a sudden the convo n txting stops,,then u find out she starting to date a nob head,,is it because they want status hence y they d8 these fools?


Answer: Maybe you are dating the wrong type of girls. Some girls like gentlemen...it's just a myth people make up that all girls love bad guys. Just try meeting girls some where respectable & they will come.

Not every girl in this world likes to be treated like shit. Remember that.
Girls probably would like someone who is balanced the best. Meaning neither a gentlemen or a bad ass.



Yep pretty much says it. If your a *nice * guy and want to get the girls you gotta fake a little bad boy or better yet go skydive or get in a barfight and get a little badboy in you. ###ong has it right as well alpha vrs beta males

women will always always always be drawn toward the alpha male by natural impulses at first and not all alpha males are bad. Its mainly the swagger and confidence and masculine power they put out not the im going to hit you if you dont do my dishes they go for obviously.

however after a few heartbreaks they learn that the betas (nice guys) are generally more fullfilling on an emotional level and general partnership as well and use ourgood old human brain to figure out that they cant let natural urges run them.

theres good guys everywhere of both types and neither one makes a better mate. alphas will often abuse or be distant betas will have no backbone at all or cling

gotta mix it up id say for just about any relationship to work.

Nathan
 
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Re: why do girls go for the guys that treat um bad?

Postby Vince 34 days, 16 hours ago

I'm really not so sure about all this. like i used to be a bit of a "rebel" getting into trouble with the law for various things and ya da ya da but towards my gf i would always treat her right. respect, loyalty etc. and yet i would constantly have my relationships ending with her cheating. something like 8/9 cheated. i could never understand why. i would treat them with the respect that they deserved even if they didnt think they were worthy of it cos i thought they were. yet i was not a saint. i would say i was 50/### at least 40/60. so in response to this i dont think it boils down to if ur a good guy/bad guy but it boils down to what the woman is looking for. if she wants to be respected and treated right she will search for the guy who is nice, polite and even awkward as some girls find that attractive. as for why a girl may want to be in a relationship with a guy who treats her bad that i cannot say.

Vince
 
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Joined: 34 days, 16 hours ago
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Re: why do girls go for the guys that treat um bad?

Postby Nathan 34 days, 16 hours ago

ya I agree alot of the time it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

sad fact is no matter how commited we are or how much we feel for somone they dont always feel the same its the old kick in the face free will its beautiful and devastating at the same time.

However I still personally feel cheating is a sure sign of failure in the relationship and unless its somthing thats incredibly deep and you cant stand to lose id never stay with a cheater cause Id figure its just not gonna work and learn from it and move on.

It's the hardest game in exsistance the game of love, I don't think any of us fully undersatnd it were all still searching for what we are life is like that but I believe all the heartache and despair gives way to the days you were happy with them and the eventually long lived happy relationship you can achieve.

Its worth it in the end thats why were all here :D

Nathan
 
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Re: why do girls go for the guys that treat um bad?

Postby Vladimir 34 days, 15 hours ago

Lucia wrote:I will b so quick but honest hea!! Every girl wants to be the one.. "THE ONE" to change the bad guy and make him fall in love with her so much that he stops his wicked ways bla bla bla and then usually once they're in too deep {the girl} they realise that he'll never change but they hold on "just in case"..

So you admit the girls do stupid things. :shock:No one can be hold "just in case". It seems so desperate from you. It means you/other girls like you are unable to find some nice guy to be with him.
But I think there is still some nice girl who wants some nice guy to go out with him. :)

Vladimir
 
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Re: why do girls go for the guys that treat um bad?

Postby *RaWrS* 34 days, 12 hours ago

It's because the chicks want to look or feel cool or important around other friends or people and because bad boiis are just hot i guess> im 18 and i've always liked both!!

*RaWrS*
 
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Re: why do girls go for the guys that treat um bad?

Postby Jeffrey 27 days, 4 hours ago

I Have no Idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont just look at the cover, read a little bit, make a decision on taste not tasty!

Jeffrey
 
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Re: why do girls go for the guys that treat um bad?

Postby James 26 days, 13 hours ago

Define bad treatment...Is it yelling? Is it cheating? Is it abuse, physical or emotional? Where is the line?

Everyone treats someone bad at some point, so it's hard to answer this question....

James
 
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