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When is persistance stalking and how do we know?

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When is persistance stalking and how do we know?

Postby Resonantg 4 days, 18 hours ago

This just came to me. I now understand why many women just don't respond, preferring silence to facing their amorous pursuer. How much pursuit and repeated emails or IMs is expected, and then crosses the line over to stalking in your mind?

Resonantg
 
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Re: When is persistance stalking and how do we know?

Postby Mike Martinez 4 days, 16 hours ago

Well, basically, if she wants to receive your communication, it's persuit. If she doesn't, it's stalking. It doesn't matter if you know where you stand. It's probably actionable by law. You have no choice but to play. Welcome to 21st century America! Good luck!

Mike Martinez
 
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Re: When is persistance stalking and how do we know?

Postby Resonantg 4 days, 13 hours ago

Online dating was much nicer a decade ago when I first tried it. This can suck nowadays.

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Re: When is persistance stalking and how do we know?

Postby y bird 4 days, 8 hours ago

Generalisation but here you go- don't wink, send a message as well you're more likely to get a response even if it is no thanks.
If the lady replies and its an encouraging one, then reply and wait for her to reply to you. Don't keep sending- thats when you become a stalker. If she doesn't reply, theres your answer.
This works for texting too- if you text and dont get a reply, don't bombard them, its their way of telling you its time to move on!
When I started dating again, this was the first bit of advice a single friend gave me and it hasn't failed me yet. Silence seems to be the new 'not interested'

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Re: When is persistance stalking and how do we know?

Postby good4u 4 days, 5 hours ago

Y bird is absolutely correct. I have had the same treatment back as well, if I send an email once and get no response. I have my answer. However, the polite response would have been no thanks, but it also shows me the man has little manners and I don't wanna waste one second of my time put out about it. But to think someone is gonna respond w/a yes to repeated winks, emails or IM's is delusional. Just be honest w/yourself and save yourself time.

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Re: When is persistance stalking and how do we know?

Postby Resonantg 4 days, 5 hours ago

Yeah, silence does seem to be the new 'no thanks'. Then again, I don't respond to winks either. Mostly cause they're scammers looking for suckers. If it does turn out it's not a criminal on the other end... why are they winking? Was there nothing in your profile to garner enough interest to say something?

I guess ultimately, the question is, is it considered persistence if you email someone a second time after there has been nothing said back? That's what I find rude I guess. It leaves lots of us (as I'm sure you've experienced at least once or twice) going... ummmm did you get that?

Oh well. Maybe we need a 'thanks but no thanks' button to confirm that we'd been seen and rejected.

Resonantg
 
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Re: When is persistance stalking and how do we know?

Postby Jessie 4 days, 5 hours ago

Totally agree with the message sending and not just winking but I would give it 2 goes, not just the once then they're getting the benefit of the doubt that something might have gone amiss with the first one. If nothing is received from the second message, move on! ;)

Jessie
 
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Re: When is persistance stalking and how do we know?

Postby Jessie 4 days, 5 hours ago

Resonantg wrote:Yeah, silence does seem to be the new 'no thanks'. Then again, I don't respond to winks either. Mostly cause they're scammers looking for suckers. If it does turn out it's not a criminal on the other end... why are they winking? Was there nothing in your profile to garner enough interest to say something?

I guess ultimately, the question is, is it considered persistence if you email someone a second time after there has been nothing said back? That's what I find rude I guess. It leaves lots of us (as I'm sure you've experienced at least once or twice) going... ummmm did you get that?

Oh well. Maybe we need a 'thanks but no thanks' button to confirm that we'd been seen and rejected.


HAHAHA! Love the "Thanks but no thanks button" idea!!!

Jessie
 
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Re: When is persistance stalking and how do we know?

Postby good4u 4 days, 4 hours ago

Actually, there is something of that "button" in the business world I use frequently. It is "return receipt requested" and when it is hit the msg back to the sender is "received and read" that is enough for reasonable ppl.

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Re: When is persistance stalking and how do we know?

Postby Resonantg 4 days, 4 hours ago

Actually, there is something of that "button" in the business world I use frequently. It is "return receipt requested" and when it is hit the msg back to the sender is "received and read" that is enough for reasonable ppl.


Awesome. Never considered that. We need one on dating sites. :)

Resonantg
 
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