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[Ryan]

OK im lost right now....i have been single for bout 1 1/2 years now...im 22 and i live in a college town..my problem is i work almost 7 days a week driving semi...i don't know how to go out and meet women..i could go to the bars but when i do get a chance to go there i don't have ppl to go with and im not real sure if i wanna meet someone i want to be with at a bar? i just want someone to come home to..to take care of and that can take care of me...im a faithfull guy and i have nothing to lie about...i have a problem meeting girls..i cant just go up to a girl and tlak to them if i don't know them.....i don't feel like im attractive enough to catch a girls attention...ive been told different but i don't see it or feel it..what should i do?? i just wanna be happy again and i cant' do that being alone..

[Mattie]

Ryan, there's nothing wrong with how you look. You're an attractive man. No, I don't give lip service. You need to relax and get some confidence in yourself. People can tell you the same thing a million times but it's up to you to believe it.

You're also in no great rush. Just enjoy life as you can. You're only 22. Yes, I know but just listen. I'm 37. Been there, done that. I've been single for 4 years. It's very hard for me to find a date. I have two kids, I'm not a model and I have limits due to illness. The older I get, the less my chances are. Do I worry about it? Sometimes I get lonely, yes. However, I still have confidence in myself and what happens, happens. Don't focus on needing someone. Focus on just enjoying life. You may find things happen when you least expect it. That's how it usually is for me.

If you have the courage to approach a woman, think of it as practice. The more often you do it, the easier it might get and the confidence will show and that will attract some. Sure, you'll get shot down sometimes. Everyone does though and it's the few that say yes, that make it worthwhile. You just have to get through the no's first.

You can try practicing with local groups who are involved with things you're interested in, like book clubs, art clubs, etc whatever your taste may be. Join up and see who you meet. it also gives common ground in regards to things to talk about. Volunteering can help as well.

Also, some women like the shy ones. I have had men with confidence hit on me and those who are so shy I have to finish the question for them lol What impressed me most was the shy ones approaching me despite being nervous about it. ( one I knew for 5 months first and he was still scared to ask me out lol) Confidence impresses me to a certain degree but those who don't let fear stop them, now that takes strength. That is a quality I appreciate. So, even if you're nervous about it, approach them. Just to chat with them, nothing more. You never know who you might catch because you're shy:)

Hope things work out for you:)

[JohnW]

Ryan, there's nothing wrong with how you look. You're an attractive man. No, I don't give lip service. You need to relax and get some confidence in yourself. People can tell you the same thing a million times but it's up to you to believe it.

You're also in no great rush. Just enjoy life as you can. You're only 22. Yes, I know but just listen. I'm 37. Been there, done that. I've been single for 4 years. It's very hard for me to find a date. I have two kids, I'm not a model and I have limits due to illness. The older I get, the less my chances are. Do I worry about it? Sometimes I get lonely, yes. However, I still have confidence in myself and what happens, happens. Don't focus on needing someone. Focus on just enjoying life. You may find things happen when you least expect it. That's how it usually is for me.

If you have the courage to approach a woman, think of it as practice. The more often you do it, the easier it might get and the confidence will show and that will attract some. Sure, you'll get shot down sometimes. Everyone does though and it's the few that say yes, that make it worthwhile. You just have to get through the no's first.

You can try practicing with local groups who are involved with things you're interested in, like book clubs, art clubs, etc whatever your taste may be. Join up and see who you meet. it also gives common ground in regards to things to talk about. Volunteering can help as well.

Also, some women like the shy ones. I have had men with confidence hit on me and those who are so shy I have to finish the question for them lol What impressed me most was the shy ones approaching me despite being nervous about it. ( one I knew for 5 months first and he was still scared to ask me out lol) Confidence impresses me to a certain degree but those who don't let fear stop them, now that takes strength. That is a quality I appreciate. So, even if you're nervous about it, approach them. Just to chat with them, nothing more. You never know who you might catch because you're shy:)

Hope things work out for you:)

Now that's some really good advice and as the shy man I am I will take it to me so thank you Mattie

[Redcapote]

I think I understand some of the feelings you're experiencing. Some of the "Am I ever going to have what I so desire?"

First I think it's important to realize and come to terms with feelings, because they are temporary. Their own memory is short-lived, and when you think you won't feel them again, they'll come back.

Also, in my opinion, there are certain times in life when our focus should be focused on certain endeavors. This may not be the time to try and maximize your opportunity to find the right woman, but perhaps to build your financial stability, focus on your career, or on a change of career. Or to focus on your health, and your physical fitness. Having it all at once may not be feasible.

I know this may seem vague, but I admit I'm not at my best as I write this in terms of descriptive resolutions. I hope you find what you're looking for.

[Mattie]

Ryan, there's nothing wrong with how you look. You're an attractive man. No, I don't give lip service. You need to relax and get some confidence in yourself. People can tell you the same thing a million times but it's up to you to believe it.

You're also in no great rush. Just enjoy life as you can. You're only 22. Yes, I know but just listen. I'm 37. Been there, done that. I've been single for 4 years. It's very hard for me to find a date. I have two kids, I'm not a model and I have limits due to illness. The older I get, the less my chances are. Do I worry about it? Sometimes I get lonely, yes. However, I still have confidence in myself and what happens, happens. Don't focus on needing someone. Focus on just enjoying life. You may find things happen when you least expect it. That's how it usually is for me.

If you have the courage to approach a woman, think of it as practice. The more often you do it, the easier it might get and the confidence will show and that will attract some. Sure, you'll get shot down sometimes. Everyone does though and it's the few that say yes, that make it worthwhile. You just have to get through the no's first.

You can try practicing with local groups who are involved with things you're interested in, like book clubs, art clubs, etc whatever your taste may be. Join up and see who you meet. it also gives common ground in regards to things to talk about. Volunteering can help as well.

Also, some women like the shy ones. I have had men with confidence hit on me and those who are so shy I have to finish the question for them lol What impressed me most was the shy ones approaching me despite being nervous about it. ( one I knew for 5 months first and he was still scared to ask me out lol) Confidence impresses me to a certain degree but those who don't let fear stop them, now that takes strength. That is a quality I appreciate. So, even if you're nervous about it, approach them. Just to chat with them, nothing more. You never know who you might catch because you're shy:)

Hope things work out for you:)

Now that's some really good advice and as the shy man I am I will take it to me so thank you Mattie

lol you're welcome John. Glad I could help someone

[Melissa]

Ryan,

I completely understand how you feel about the shy issue. I happen to be a very shy lassie, so flirting or talking to guys is a huge issue for me. However in your case, the trick to this problem is to practice talking to women, even if you don't know them. Believe it or not, but there are a lot of women who are attracted to tall, dark, and handsome men such as yourself. And if you don't practice or even attempt to talk to women, these ladies will be given the impression that you are not interested in them. And with that being said, they will simply move on to the next guy. So always remember to stay calm and cool around women. If you don't, women might pick up an awkward vibe and will most likely attempt to avoid you. And flirting never hurts, so give it a try. The more you practice, the more confidence you will gain.

This might be my personal opinion, but you really shouldn't be looking for women at a bar. If you truely are looking for a serious relationship, you are not going to find it at a bar. Bars are places where people socialize or a place to find 'one night stands'. Try socializing with women at a place where it doesn't involve alcohol or liquor.

I hope you find that special someone, and I hope my friendly suggestions helps you in your quest.

[Bookgirl1990]

Ryan,

I completely understand how you feel about the shy issue. I happen to be a very shy lassie, so flirting or talking to guys is a huge issue for me. However in your case, the trick to this problem is to practice talking to women, even if you don't know them. Believe it or not, but there are a lot of women who are attracted to tall, dark, and handsome men such as yourself. And if you don't practice or even attempt to talk to women, these ladies will be given the impression that you are not interested in them. And with that being said, they will simply move on to the next guy. So always remember to stay calm and cool around women. If you don't, women might pick up an awkward vibe and will most likely attempt to avoid you. And flirting never hurts, so give it a try. The more you practice, the more confidence you will gain.

This might be my personal opinion, but you really shouldn't be looking for women at a bar. If you truely are looking for a serious relationship, you are not going to find it at a bar. Bars are places where people socialize or a place to find 'one night stands'. Try socializing with women at a place where it doesn't involve alcohol or liquor.

I hope you find that special someone, and I hope my friendly suggestions helps you in your quest.

i totaly agree with Melissa, practice does make perfect, and also if you are just yourself you will proberly be surprised with how many women will flirt with you

good luck with everything