Community

[Richard]

i found that when you treat a women properly they never seem interested, yet so many women seem to go out with guys who couldn't care less about how they treat her?


Just want to say thanks to everyone who replied to this posts
and thanks to anne i think your post may have helped.

[Hubbs]

Fully agree with the above statement...

Seems like everyone you know says "you are such a sweetheart", or "I'm amazed you are still single, you're such a gentleman" - but you see all of the nice girls with complete jerks. Makes no sense.

Based on what i've seen (an ladies forgive me for this next statement if it doesn't apply to you) it seems that women from age 17-27ish are out to have fun with the "bad boy" but look for the "nice guy" to start a family with after they have had their fun... i've stopped trying to find the logic in it.

[kobus]

wow, above statement ...............................couldnt have said it better, ja ja we know now some girl is gonna reply " not all girls r like that" in a snob way, YOU ARE WRONG THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, do u girls know what, i couldnt care any more, my last relationship whas the the tip off the ice burg..................... she is the reson im gonna end up hating women

[LIL CRIP]

heyyou guys out there girls do actually like everybody only if its a true love.byee.

[kobus]

15 words for a girl, wow, i think ur 1 of those that wants a good guy but when have him , gets some1 on the side line or dump him for a hartless guy, im mean come on i know you can wright a bit more than that, im really just sick of women now, say what you want but you are hartless, dont know what you want and when you get it you wanna go and pawn it for a nother, and so on and so on, when your old then you want the guy that brings you coffe and hold you and bla bla

[William Wallace]

Hubbs and Richard,

I have to agree with you guys. As one of the 'nice guys' I have had a lot of sh*t dealt out to me while the 'good girls' are dating the guys that cheat on them...

C

[MJphotog]

Strange, strange, strange situation isn't it.

And yes, some 'nice girls' I know seem to admit the fact that the guy they wish was a perfect boy friend, but is giving them the total run around while not breaking up with an 'ex' etc is a jerk. But... they keep going back for more because they seem to like the wild unpredictable side the guy.

Oh well - sad part is they are the ones getting screwed over.

No idea on the solution to it all though! lol

In the mean time I'll try not to stoop to the low level of the jerks and pricks out their that seem to have girls falling over them. My current RSVP profile headlines reads: When you get sick of all the players, drop in for a looksy here... one genuine caring guy available... but hurry guys like this are in big demand!

Ok, perhaps the last bit is wishful thinking - but give them another couple year's and they may finally realise they need a genuine guy not a jerk.

As someone else said though, for some crazy reason these days most girls (and guys) don't seem to mature and settle down til they hit or pass 30! Gone are the days of maturity and getting married in your early 20s.

No offence intended to women here. Just an observation that seems to be only too common. But I do hate seeing my female friends getting treated like they do because they seem to go for guys that don't even deserve a girl of any type.

Good luck!

[† Ivan †]

I'm agree with all you guys, actually, I'm a little dissapointed about the girls (in general) on my generation (and it seems to be the same for you), I think I'm a nice guy, a gentleman, kind with girls, listen to them, give them time, trusting on them, and this may sound "weird" because I am a guy, but...I have even fully opened my heart to them, and they don't seem to be any interested on it...women always says "I want a real man, someone who cares about me, a gentleman, someone who listen to me, to protect me and make me feel loved, someone in which I can trust, someone who wants to be with me forever..." and I feel kinda...sad/angry because I think "I am (or I think I am) all that she's saying!! why don't she wants to be with me? u_u" I think I'm not ugly neither, so...what is what you're really looking for girls? I don't understand...

[Smarts]

I've thought a lot about this and have made two observations.

The first is that people tend to like controversy. If everything in a relationship is perfect, things get boring, routine, stale. Some people feel that they HAVE to keep drama in their life in order to keep from feeling boring. It's a self-destructive tendency that some girls (and guys) have, and maybe it influences their dating habits.

The second observation is that people tend to want someone who is "above their level." Maybe its genetics or something. If your partner is always kissing your ass (figuratively), it's hard to keep from taking that for granted. Subconsciously, I believe many people start to think that they could do better.

So, what I try to do is be fair. I'm not going to buy a lady flowers frequently, or even get their door for her all that often. You have to be conscious about when to make effort. Relationships are give and take, and it's not like a bank -- you can't keep giving.

[Anne]

So, do I dare post a reply in this boys club? Stay with me guys. I have a lot to say.

Yup, there are nice girls out there dating some real losers that we so endearingly like to call "bad boys." They could be with them for any number of reasons, low self esteem, looking for a charity case that they can nurture, unconsciously looking for someone like daddy, or maybe they are just responding to affection and too afraid to let it go. But for every guy out there asking this question, I've heard just as many girls saying, "Why would such a great guy like him go for such a trashy girl like her? Can't he see through that?!"

For me personally, I can't help but think that being deemed "nice" these days (for men or women) has taken on a negative connotation. Think about it. When someone is describing another person who has very little that's unique or appealing in the personality department they say, "Yeah, but he's a nice guy." Automatically I think boring. Sorry, I can't help it. "Nice" restaurants don't get four stars, right?

If the best that people have to say about you is nice, oddly enough maybe that's issue. Women want to see a fire in your eye, a passion for a hobby, an interest, your job, an in-tune intelligence, anything. If the best that a guy is getting is the cop-out "nice" title, he might want to take some time to develop himself on a personal level. Same thing for women too, right? Wouldn't you want an addition to your life that is enriching? If you are having fun with life, dedicated to your job, loving what you do and the people around you, the opposite sex will see that and be attracted to it.

Maybe you could think about it this way, watching a movie is nice. Watching a movie with intrigue, great character development, humor, and feeling is great! Guys that have a lot to offer in these ways will beat out the bad boy any day in my book, and I think I can speak for my friends on that too.

I did read a quote the other day by psychotherapist Bellerut Naparstek Get this guys, she thinks women have been wired by society to strive to be the "nice girl." Nice girls are not supposed to want naughty things. She says, "In order for the deliciousness of pure lust to be 'okay,' it has to be for the symbolic bad boy who has nothing to do with the rest of your life. With him, you can crank up your animal impulses, worry-free."