Re: do girls acturly like nice guys?
by Anne on Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:07 pm
So, do I dare post a reply in this boys club? Stay with me guys. I have a lot to say.
Yup, there are nice girls out there dating some real losers that we so endearingly like to call "bad boys." They could be with them for any number of reasons, low self esteem, looking for a charity case that they can nurture, unconsciously looking for someone like daddy, or maybe they are just responding to affection and too afraid to let it go. But for every guy out there asking this question, I've heard just as many girls saying, "Why would such a great guy like him go for such a trashy girl like her? Can't he see through that?!"
For me personally, I can't help but think that being deemed "nice" these days (for men or women) has taken on a negative connotation. Think about it. When someone is describing another person who has very little that's unique or appealing in the personality department they say, "Yeah, but he's a nice guy." Automatically I think boring. Sorry, I can't help it. "Nice" restaurants don't get four stars, right?
If the best that people have to say about you is nice, oddly enough maybe that's issue. Women want to see a fire in your eye, a passion for a hobby, an interest, your job, an in-tune intelligence, anything. If the best that a guy is getting is the cop-out "nice" title, he might want to take some time to develop himself on a personal level. Same thing for women too, right? Wouldn't you want an addition to your life that is enriching? If you are having fun with life, dedicated to your job, loving what you do and the people around you, the opposite sex will see that and be attracted to it.
Maybe you could think about it this way, watching a movie is nice. Watching a movie with intrigue, great character development, humor, and feeling is great! Guys that have a lot to offer in these ways will beat out the bad boy any day in my book, and I think I can speak for my friends on that too.
I did read a quote the other day by psychotherapist Bellerut Naparstek Get this guys, she thinks women have been wired by society to strive to be the "nice girl." Nice girls are not supposed to want naughty things. She says, "In order for the deliciousness of pure lust to be 'okay,' it has to be for the symbolic bad boy who has nothing to do with the rest of your life. With him, you can crank up your animal impulses, worry-free."