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ALERT: "FACEBOOK AWESOMENESS"

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ALERT: "FACEBOOK AWESOMENESS"

Postby Fyy 3 days ago

I kind of gave up scouting for new contacts here, cause no one seemed to like me anyway, or have anything to say about my posts -- So I went to a corner, slit my wrists, sat there and bled and wrote nursery-grade-worthy poems that rhyme in every line about how much life sucks and how sad and pitiful I am online.

No, not really.
But I did give up on checking back here for comments to reply to. I guess comments are like plants. If you go away for a while, give it the dutiful once-over every now and then, one day you'll be all like, WHOA, look how much it's grown! (in my case, in a million years). Pfffffffftttttt!
But if you keep watering it, you'll -- well,, you will... umm. Well you can't really water a comment. Bur I always tended to water my plants too much when I was a kid, because they never did grow overnight into a beanstalk like my mom told me they would. And I knew they were supposed to, because the storybook SAID SO! She also told me plants need water to grow, so the very simple logic was that the more I watered them, the more they'd grow. Just like sponges! But all I ever got was mushy soil.

-- To this day, I'm convinced my mom gave me plain, normal beans to plant instead of magic ones, just to spite me. Kudos to her!

But back on track.

I suddenly have this urge to bitch and moan about the-somekind-world's-newest-greatest-invention right now. Freaking ###.

A LIST OF THINGS THAT ANNOY ME ABOUT ###.
This is all based solely on my experience. It's more of a social commentary and is not meant maliciously, but I will gladly accept hate mail. Enjoy~

1. Invites to completely, utterly useless applications on ###.
No, I don't want to make online babies with my ### friends, I don't need a quiz to tell me what my "true eye colour" is because I can always get up on my ass and check in the mirror.
I don't want any form of ### secret surprise gift and I'm not interested in what type of fragrance(Clinique Happy), girlfriend(loving & funny as hell), kisser(slow and exploring),animal(white tiger) turd I am. I can figure it out myself.

2. Getting spammed by invites to completely, utterly & useless applications on ###. The same ones which I have already rejected. Over a hundred times.
I am sick of having to spend hours deleting the same fucking invites from the same damn people all the damn bloody time (notice the emphasis). Against my will.
God, it's like ### rape.
It doesn't matter of you sent those two I-Fucking-Dentical invites a few days/hours/minutes/miliseconds apart. No means NO. Okay? Okayyy???
Now stop spamming me with invites -- don't you have something better to do with your life? Go spam your mother, for god's sake, she misses you, she doesn't know where you've been... okay? No MORE invites!

3. ### pokes...
Feeling the urge to poke someone is understandable.
Feeling the urge to poke someone (and re-poke, and go through all the profiles on ### methodically just to poke them all) ONLINE --
It just goes to show that once you think humans can't possibly get any stupider, they find a brilliant way of proving you wrong.
Try this the next time you go out -- go up to someone, stretch your fingers out so they mimic what they would like if you were typing on a keyboard. Point your forefinger, make a mouse-clicky sound and say "Poke!" But god forbid that you should actually poke them. Then inform them that you have Poked them, they will now be able to see your profile for a week, and Poke you back if they like you.
If you don't notice the weird look they give you before they rush to a phone to call the police, don't bother to read on. Please. You're too far gone to save. Just pick up the phone, call the nearest asylum and ask them to kindly pick you up. Don't forget to POKE them when they arrive.

4. ...and all the other useless applications that come with that trend.
I don't see what's so Super(note capital S) about a SuperPoke that lets you do things to your friends that... well, when it comes down to it -- aren't anything close to an actual, real life poke.
And for those people that have SuperPoke, PokePro, OfficePoke, SexyPoke, and (insert whatever here) Poke applications on their profile -- all at the same time --
What the hell?!
How many applications that do Poking do you need when you want to Poke someone? Unless, of course, you're hunting for an application that actually lets you do just what the fucking name suggests and JUST FUCKING POKE SOMEONE.
Good luck with that.

5. Popularity applications like Compare People, Circle of Trust, Hotness, Reputation, Social Profile and whatever-the-fuck-else-have-you.
Face it, guys.
If you were really popular/hot/sexy/abso-fucking-lutely amazing and wonderful, you wouldn't need ### to tell you that. If you were really popular/hot/etc., you'd have too little after all your after-school soirees to add any such applications on ###.
And if you really had a life in the first place, you wouldn't be on ### in the first place(laughs at myself).

6. The very kind of people who take it upon themselves as their civic duty to inform every single ### netizen that if they do not forward "this message" on to every other single ### netizen "before 12 midnight", "she" will come to you in your sleep and skin you alive and hang you up in your closet.
Thank you all for your kind concern.
If I remember right, I have accumulated about a year's worth of long-overdue visits from one young 12 year old girl who will suck out my soul, a few knife-and-axe wielding mystery men and countless vengeful ghosts with long black hair and red eyes -- who are all mad at me because I did not do their bidding and pass the message on.
I am sure that all those whom I did not annoy by NOT TAKING UP SO MUCH FUCKING SPACE ON THEIR WALL WITH A STUPID USELESS MESSAGE will come to my funeral to honor me after I have repeatedly been skinned alive/had my throat slit/been possesed/driven insane and killed myself/died in an unexplainable automobile accident.

7. Those people who place a picture on my Wall and tell me that if I click forward, "Summmthinnng reaaaalllly innnterrrestinggggg willlll happpppennn...!!~!! Jusssst clickkkk annnnddd seeee...!!!!!.
No, I won't. I'll pass.
Seriously, people?
I wonder if any of those idiots who follow the instructions will ever be disappointed enough at the ending to sue those idiots who posted that in the first place for fraud and wilful misleading.

8. "Hi my name is john i am from ******** and I want to friend with a prettylady such like you ha ha ha i are hope that your read this massage i am pilosofical and deep thiker you are beautyful i have never seen on earth beautiful flower of heaven before my email is ********* you will place a letter to me and I hope to hear soon"
Dear Johnny boy,
You must be a psychic, because even though you haven't seen me or any of my pictures before, you can tell me that my appearance is beautiful. That's very interesting. I'd like to ask if you could possibly also use your psychic powers to help me determine if I win the lottery next week.
I also hope that you will hear soon -- being deaf must be very difficult for you and I'm sorry for your condition.
Love,
Fyy.

9. Requests to join the "Here for absolutely nothing group just to be stupid and annoying hahahahaha aha ha" group.
Well.
You were stupid enough to start such a group. And you've succeeded in annoying me.
Congratulations on attaining your group's goal and your life ambition. Now that you have, kindly please fuck off and DIE.
Do the world a favor.

10. ###.
...'nuff said.
Why, oh WHY did I ever give in to the incessant email invites to start a profile there?

signing off,
a-pissed-at-the-world Fyy.

... (Poke.)
... (Sorry, but the post wouldn't be complete without it.)

&& For the love of mankind, I'm not done with bitching about this yet.
My post about the kind of profiles and pictures in ### will be up next.
Meanwhile, go have a beer and get high.

Later. Go figure.

Fyy
 
Posts: 10
Joined: 3 days, 22 hours ago
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Re: ALERT: "FACEBOOK AWESOMENESS"

Postby Ian 2 days, 22 hours ago

:lol::lol::lol:

Ian
 
Posts: 132
Joined: 9 days, 7 hours ago
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Re: ALERT: "FACEBOOK AWESOMENESS"

Postby Shane 2 days, 21 hours ago

oh yeah ### does my head in is way to busy and pointless apps no real communication just ppl sending pointless shit that no one really needs.

So yeah ### is pointless and stupid and u are welcome to it.

Its like a womans mag nice and glossy to look at but if your not into BRAD ANGELINA or JEN is just pointless drival.

But hey thats just me. :D:D

:twisted::twisted:
.

Shane
 
Posts: 618
Joined: 27 days, 3 hours ago
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Re: ALERT: "FACEBOOK AWESOMENESS"

Postby tammy 2 days, 14 hours ago

wow you can bitch that was great and i totally agree with all of it, keep it up, :lol::lol::lol::lol:

tammy
 
Posts: 2
Joined: 2 days, 14 hours ago
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Re: ALERT: "FACEBOOK AWESOMENESS"

Postby Elma 2 days, 13 hours ago

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
You just made my day...thanks
This is so true...sometimes i think with myself, are those people adults or what?

BTW
You are a good pen/writer

Elma
 
Posts: 88
Joined: 17 days, 9 hours ago
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Re: ALERT: "FACEBOOK AWESOMENESS"

Postby James 2 days, 12 hours ago

:lol:

James
 
Posts: 1
Joined: 2 days, 12 hours ago
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