FreeHookup Dating Community

[Fyy]

If you are female, you're in the wrong spot.

Note: I decided to post this as part of my series on dating and attracting a mate. *nod* I'M DOING A PUBLIC SERVICE HERE, PEOPLE.

I'm like the pickin' up chicks expert now. I know all the tricks.
Here are a few pointers from me to you.

1. If you can position yourself next to the women's bathroom, you can hit on every girl in the place. A gal's gotta pee, you know. And all those players are buying them drinks, fattening them up for the kill. Another plus is that they often go in groups, so you've got your pick.

2. Try to have an endless store of inappropriate, crass jokes. Chicks really dig them. Especially if they are insinuating toward women. Even bumper sticker quotes work.

3. Talk about failed relationships a LOT. Emphasize that it was all "that chick's fault" so your new prospect doesn't think *you* have faults.

4. Shoot for the girl who makes an obvious effort to not look at you and turns away when you walk toward her. She's just playing hard to get.

5. Invite her to your church. Make sure you mention a few times that it's the biggest church in town. Cause we all know what it means when a guy has a big church. *wink*

6. The best time to get a girl is when your girlfriend/wife is sitting at the table with you. Don't just take an admiring look, go on and get handsy. Maybe you can get some threesome action going (not literally I mean, that would just be plain wrong).

7. When the girl makes fun of you and then eventually completely ignores you, and possibly starts talking to other people, sometimes calling someone over to get rid of you, it's a great sign. Kind of like pulling a girl's pigtails in elementary school. She wants you bad. Go wait by her car.

8. Try using some really good pick up lines that she's probably heard before but are so timeless, they'll still work...anything involving her legs being tired from running through your mind all day, breaking laws by being so beautiful, or wearing space pants are definite winners. Girls love a guy with a memory and no class.

9. If she's not drinking and declines your offer to buy her drinks, send them anyway. Peer pressure has worked for tons of people, and odds are she's going to need to be reeeeally drunk to see you as attractive.

10. Dance seductively in your sweatpants and crocs. Then go conduct the band. Then harrass the band and claim to know Carlos Santana. Throwing in a bit about writing songs for Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young or James Taylor is impressive. She'll never know that you're lying. Unless she knows someone who knows Carlos Santana, who happens to be there, who calls him and makes you look like an idiot. *shrug*

11. Breath only through your mouth.. And cry because you think you're falling in love.

I've seen all of these in action...they are winners. *nod*
Some people I know swear by #1.

DICLAIMER: I don't do refunds. I'm sorry if they don't work on your account. But look on the bright side, maybe you're secretly gay.
Sshhh! =)

[Fuad]

a big church????thats a first hahaha

[Misty]

OMG I love it! We should add these one by one to the dare part of the truth or dare thread in US Singles.

[Fyy]

Just doing a public service here. Thank you for reading. =))

[Ian]

Sarcasm, like it I do not think I have tried or ever will try any of the above but it was a funny read

[Fuad]

oh attitude nice.....obviously i dont have a premium acct hence the reply here so all the power to u women...cheerssssssssss

[Ahmed]

every little helps

[Fyy]

I'll give props to anyone who actually tried experimenting on this. Kudos to you!

[Chris]

welldone you should get an award cause that was brill reading you stuff made me laugh you think you know it all lol

[Nathaniel]

Let me add to that list, things I've actually done. Don't try these yourself.

12. I walked (20 cars length distance) on the middle lane of a freeway where every car was parked for the past 2 hours (no joke). I was dared by my friends to talk to her. We saw her drive past us slowly earlier before all traffic literally died. So I walked up to her car with a big smile and gently motioned for her to roll down her window. Concerned, she did so. I introduced myself, invited her to a concert that was going to start at my church (down the road) in the next 30 minutes.

"What happened?"
She said no, but thanked me for offering. I walked back with the same confidence I approached her with (never let them see you weak). Some guy asked me if everything was ok. I told him I was just hitting on this hot Spanish girl. He laughed and said, "you got balls kid!" I got props and hive fives for trying from all my friends. I'm not kidding, when I tell you that traffic cleared up, we drove past her, she later drove past us, honked her horn, smiled and waived. I then got more props from my friends one of whom still talks about it to this day. "Fortune smiles upon the brave." If you can't get a girls number, at least get some props for trying.

13. I went to a Christian singles event at my church and hit on 200 women just in 3 hours and 30 minutes (yes I timed myself) and tried to make friends with 200 guys in that same period of time (total: 400) = total FAIL (seriously, it can be done but you have to talk fast).

"What happened?"
My secret plan all along...I successfully got rid of ALL the rich, snotty, preppy Baptist jerks from the other church who sucked up our singles group resources, treated us all poorly, who later copied every detail of our singles group for their own church and told everyone that it was original (no offense to other Baptists who I'm friends with) I was victorious nonetheless. "What we do echoes in eternity...this is Sparta!" love that movie, lol.

14. Used my Mom to hit on a girl...yes I did! She had a younger, hot, single friend and my mother described me in a way that sounded like the girls answered prayer.

"What happened?"
We were friends for 2 years but did date once (and remained friends, really). A really great date too. Remember that movie called "Hitch" with Will Smith? Remember the girl he dated in the movie? Yeah, she looked just like her...ouch. You win some, you lose some.

15. Used my Dad to hit on a girl the same way...it's true.

"What happened?"
We met 2 times, went on a date once. She was a beautiful Italian/Spanish pre-med student with 140 IQ (no joke) 20 points higher than mine, score! I like smart girls, I really do. She was so humble but she was only visiting and was a student at NYCU to be a doctor...no we did not play doctor and didn't date later, but had a good time.

16. Used my older brother to hit on a girl the same way...I have no shame.

"What happened?"

17. Back in high school I remember, masquerade (costume) party. I showed up alone, danced with 8 girls, 4 who had boyfriends and I also walked up to a girl who literally had 20 guys surrounding her, physically pushed my way through them like a NY subway, introduced myself and asked her to dance (showing no fear and looking her in the eyes the whole time while smiling gently).

"What happened?"
She said yes and we danced in front of all 20 guys, their mouths dropping open, she laughed while watching them. We danced 2 songs and I found out the next day that she was THE most popular girl in school and had told everyone about me. I got props from strangers for 2 days straight, score. I was dressed as Zoro without the mask and she was dressed as Jasmine from "Alladin" and she had the same figure as Jasemine - perfect.

18. Started a profile on FreeHookup and hit on a bunch of hot girls.

"What happened?"
Nothing. I'm sitting here typing a long reply on a message board, on a website full of people who also don't get replies from anyone and can't get dates. Only once did I date a girl I met online and it wasn't pretty, but I'm crazy enough to do it again.

When I was 12 I had 3 girlfriends at the same time and now I get happy when a girl even smiles at me. It's like I suck more as I get older or something. I don't get it, lol. Happy Hunting everyone. If any of you get lucky on this site with someone, share your wealth of knowledge with the rest of us, thanks