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Love Lost

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Love Lost

Postby Hugh 66 days, 4 hours ago

Why am I here, no idea really. My story is very simple, meet a girl when she was 12yrs old, started dating when she was 15yrs then married her at 17yrs, so far so simple. We went on to have two children and sadly lost another during my wifes pregnancy ( she never really got over this ), last May she was diagnosed with a tumour. Chemo failed to help, in October I was told that her life expectancy was 3-6 months, I made a promise that no matter what happens she would stay at home to the end. My daughter and son helped as much as possible over the last two weeks of my wifes illness, the nurses were brilliant, I still can thank them enough. On a Saturday morning at around 6am I though my wife seemed a bit chilly, 30mins later it dawned on me what had happened, I had kept my promise that she stayed at home to the end, she died still holding my hands. I am told its the most rewarding thing to do, care for someone untill the end, maybe its true, however its the hardest thing to do, simply because you know the outcome and theres nothing you can do about it. I had never broken a promise to my wife throughout our time together, we had planned to move to a smaller house in April this year, I am stilling going to move, that is my final promise kept. I can not add anything else, so I loved and was loved but it has been taken away in a cruel way, please I want no sympathy, I will mover forward and move and maybe make new friends, thats my story and perhaps something will in time happen again, life plays strange tricks. I nearly forgot, today would have been her birthday.

Hugh
 
Posts: 26
Joined: 67 days, 23 hours ago
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Re: Love Lost

Postby Brenda 65 days, 17 hours ago

Hugh wrote:Why am I here, no idea really. My story is very simple, meet a girl when she was 12yrs old, started dating when she was 15yrs then married her at 17yrs, so far so simple. We went on to have two children and sadly lost another during my wifes pregnancy ( she never really got over this ), last May she was diagnosed with a tumour. Chemo failed to help, in October I was told that her life expectancy was 3-6 months, I made a promise that no matter what happens she would stay at home to the end. My daughter and son helped as much as possible over the last two weeks of my wifes illness, the nurses were brilliant, I still can thank them enough. On a Saturday morning at around 6am I though my wife seemed a bit chilly, 30mins later it dawned on me what had happened, I had kept my promise that she stayed at home to the end, she died still holding my hands. I am told its the most rewarding thing to do, care for someone untill the end, maybe its true, however its the hardest thing to do, simply because you know the outcome and theres nothing you can do about it. I had never broken a promise to my wife throughout our time together, we had planned to move to a smaller house in April this year, I am stilling going to move, that is my final promise kept. I can not add anything else, so I loved and was loved but it has been taken away in a cruel way, please I want no sympathy, I will mover forward and move and maybe make new friends, thats my story and perhaps something will in time happen again, life plays strange tricks. I nearly forgot, today would have been her birthday.



My gosh, what a sad, sad story, I and any other reader send our heartfelt sympathy. Words are difficult at this time when we want to reach out and say how much we care. You have made a giant step in expressing your loss, a positive step in the healing process. It will take a long time, but, remember how wonderful you both were to each other, and how blessed she was to have had you as her caregiver, her husband, the father of her children. What a truly humane person you are. Anyone knowing you must consider it a privilege. I wish all good fortune and happiness for you

Brenda
 
Posts: 25
Joined: 106 days, 16 hours ago
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Re: Love Lost

Postby Ratchell 64 days, 20 hours ago

It is great to meet a gentleman who really cared. There are not many out there like you. I know you have heard time heals, well crying helps to, so do it if you feel like you need to. Do things with your friends if you feel like it and sometimes when you don't feel like it. Find a friend who is a good listner and doesn't mind you talking about your wife. It will do you good. There are some really good groups out there for loved ones who have pass on.

I'd like to hear from you and you can tell me anything it goes no farther. My friends say I am a good listner and can keep a secret.

Ratchell
 
Posts: 2
Joined: 65 days, 22 hours ago
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Re: Love Lost

Postby Larry 44 days, 2 hours ago

Hi Hugh, sorry to hear about the loss of your wife. I, unfortunately, went threw the same loss in 2001. It took me 4 years to get over lossing her. All I have left is the loving memories of her tucked away in my heart to be retrieved when ever neccessary. Take your time to grieve, Only you will know when it is time to move on. Talk to your friends that are willing to be there for you. It is an uphill battle and eventually you will accept it and understand it. Hugh, I wish you the best in the future and support of your friends and family in dealing with your loss.

Larry
 
Posts: 13
Joined: 52 days ago
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Re: Love Lost

Postby josé arturo el papi 43 days, 16 hours ago

Brenda wrote:
Hugh wrote:Why am I here, no idea really. My story is very simple, meet a girl when she was 12yrs old, started dating when she was 15yrs then married her at 17yrs, so far so simple. We went on to have two children and sadly lost another during my wifes pregnancy ( she never really got over this ), last May she was diagnosed with a tumour. Chemo failed to help, in October I was told that her life expectancy was 3-6 months, I made a promise that no matter what happens she would stay at home to the end. My daughter and son helped as much as possible over the last two weeks of my wifes illness, the nurses were brilliant, I still can thank them enough. On a Saturday morning at around 6am I though my wife seemed a bit chilly, 30mins later it dawned on me what had happened, I had kept my promise that she stayed at home to the end, she died still holding my hands. I am told its the most rewarding thing to do, care for someone untill the end, maybe its true, however its the hardest thing to do, simply because you know the outcome and theres nothing you can do about it. I had never broken a promise to my wife throughout our time together, we had planned to move to a smaller house in April this year, I am stilling going to move, that is my final promise kept. I can not add anything else, so I loved and was loved but it has been taken away in a cruel way, please I want no sympathy, I will mover forward and move and maybe make new friends, thats my story and perhaps something will in time happen again, life plays strange tricks. I nearly forgot, today would have been her birthday.



My gosh, what a sad, sad story, I and any other reader send our heartfelt sympathy. Words are difficult at this time when we want to reach out and say how much we care. You have made a giant step in expressing your loss, a positive step in the healing process. It will take a long time, but, remember how wonderful you both were to each other, and how blessed she was to have had you as her caregiver, her husband, the father of her children. What a truly humane person you are. Anyone knowing you must consider it a privilege. I wish all good fortune and happiness for you

josé arturo el papi
 
Posts: 1
Joined: 56 days, 17 hours ago
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Re: Love Lost

Postby namn 36 days, 6 hours ago

Ilost my best girlfriend a good few years ago i fed her tea for the last week of her life and was there when she past over we were like sisters (she had 10 of them) we had a conection that is hard even for me to explain but i always new when something was wrong in her life and i am so grateful her family let me be there and we are all still good friendsand i still miss her todayso i know how you feel and fullmarks to you for what you did for your wife there are not many of the good guys out thereyou were both the luckiest people it dose get easier but you never forget my friend lost her battle with a very agressive brain tumor and she never lost her sense of humor ,so it was the hardest thing to stand up and say something at her funeral but i would never let her down i did it and have never been sorry so good luck to you in the future you deserve it

namn
 
Posts: 2
Joined: 66 days, 8 hours ago
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Re: Love Lost

Postby Blessed 1 day, 16 hours ago

Hang in there, Hugh. I know how tough it is to lose a beloved spouse. I lost my husband of 19 years five years ago. Please take your time and don't rush into anything, and don't let anyone push you into dating if you are not ready. The grieving process is not something you can avoid, go around, or over - you simply have to face it head on and go through it. Take care of yourself.

Blessed
 
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Joined: 5 days, 21 hours ago
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Re: Love Lost

Postby Sheila 6 hours, 49 minutes ago

Hugh wrote:Why am I here, no idea really. My story is very simple, meet a girl when she was 12yrs old, started dating when she was 15yrs then married her at 17yrs, so far so simple. We went on to have two children and sadly lost another during my wifes pregnancy ( she never really got over this ), last May she was diagnosed with a tumour. Chemo failed to help, in October I was told that her life expectancy was 3-6 months, I made a promise that no matter what happens she would stay at home to the end. My daughter and son helped as much as possible over the last two weeks of my wifes illness, the nurses were brilliant, I still can thank them enough. On a Saturday morning at around 6am I though my wife seemed a bit chilly, 30mins later it dawned on me what had happened, I had kept my promise that she stayed at home to the end, she died still holding my hands. I am told its the most rewarding thing to do, care for someone untill the end, maybe its true, however its the hardest thing to do, simply because you know the outcome and theres nothing you can do about it. I had never broken a promise to my wife throughout our time together, we had planned to move to a smaller house in April this year, I am stilling going to move, that is my final promise kept. I can not add anything else, so I loved and was loved but it has been taken away in a cruel way, please I want no sympathy, I will mover forward and move and maybe make new friends, thats my story and perhaps something will in time happen again, life plays strange tricks. I nearly forgot, today would have been her birthday.


Hugh, love, my heart goes out to you. As someone who lost a dear husband after over 30 years of marriage, I appreciate what you're going through - especially as last week saw three consecutive anniversaries (his death/my birthday/our wedding anniversary). Stay strong. Things do get better in time - but PLEASE, give yourself that time to grieve and to acclimatise yourself to your new situation. And it's not shameful to cry (big hug)

Sheila
 
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Joined: 2 days, 13 hours ago
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